DEAR ABBY: I would like advice regarding my husband’s friend and the way I should handle a fragile situation. My husband has a lady friend. (She has a boyfriend). They recently helped us move, which we actually appreciate. She likes to make sexual jokes, and my husband does, too. I’m not a prude, but I don’t benefit from the type of flirty vibe she puts out.
After they were helping us move, we went out for meals. She and I had privately shared that my husband and her boyfriend would sometimes forget to zip up after using the lavatory. Well, while we were walking to the automobile, she zipped up my husband’s zipper for him! I laughed it off, nevertheless it type of caught me off guard. Later, my husband told me he thought it was weird, and so do I.
Should I tell her it was crossing a line? She seems pretty clueless, but I don’t want it to occur again. — AWKWARD IN THE WEST
DEAR AWKWARD: Your husband’s friend appears to have a difficult time understanding boundaries. Since it made your husband uncomfortable, he should tell her that what she did was weird and, if he forgets to zip up in the longer term, she should tell him his zipper is open so he can fix it himself.
DEAR ABBY: I recently began a relationship with “Chase,” a person I’ve known for a yr. We don’t have time to see one another throughout the week. I actually have two jobs; he has one. He works Monday through Saturday. He’s also in a sports league that gets together for practice and games on Sundays.
The issue is, every weekend for the past six weeks he’s said he’d try to come back see me, but by the top of the weekend, something all the time happened, so he didn’t. To be brutally honest, I’ve seen “friends with advantages” guys every week for years more often than I’ve seen Chase.
I don’t like having to attend this long to see him, so I recently suggested going back to being just friends. What’s the purpose in being in a relationship with someone I rarely see? I don’t think I should proceed waiting. Do you agree? — IMPATIENT IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR IMPATIENT: If Chase was truly motivated to see you greater than occasionally, he would make the time. You might have my permission to quit waiting for him. And, as you progress forward (and on), assume that you may have been “just friends” from the time he stopped showing up while you were available.
DEAR ABBY: I’m Spanish, and my husband is Indian. I actually have a daughter from a previous relationship, and I also share a baby boy with him. More often than not, he speaks to the infant in Telegu, which is nice with me.
I’d love for my baby boy to learn the three languages — English, Spanish and Telugu — but each time I speak with my daughter in Spanish, my husband thinks we’re talking about him and gets mad, which I feel is unfair, as I can’t prohibit my daughter from speaking her language. Could you please give me some advice? — TRILINGUAL IN THE EAST
DEAR TRILINGUAL: I’m sorry you didn’t mention how old your daughter is. She should practice her English in addition to her Spanish. Indicate that her stepfather feels excluded when she speaks extensively to you in Spanish, which leaves him out of the conversation, and to please be more sensitive to his feelings.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.