DEAR ABBY: I’m 36 years old and married with three children. I even have two siblings I even have relationship with. The issue is we’ve got a half-sister two years younger than I’m who doesn’t know we exist. When my parents were married, my father had an affair with a married woman, they usually conceived my half-sister.
My parents ultimately divorced. My father’s mistress went back to her husband, they usually remain married to at the present time. My half-sister was never told who her biological father is or that she has three half-siblings.
I even have struggled my entire life with sharing this information with my half-sister because I don’t need to spoil her life. My father passed away 20 years ago, so she’s going to never have a relationship with him. My siblings also haven’t been in a position to bring themselves to share this information along with her, and I remain torn because we’re close in age, look alike and have gone into similar fields of labor.
I’d like to have a relationship along with her. I understand she may not need to have a relationship with us and could have plenty of questions on why we waited so long to inform her. Is sharing the reality value potentially ruining her life? — LONGING TO SHARE
DEAR LONGING: How do you think that your half-sister goes to react after checking out she has been raised with a lie? Is a possible relationship with you well worth the damage it might cause between her, her mother and her stepfather? If she were in need of an organ transplant, I would feel in another way. Unless the rationale is something equally urgent, don’t intrude.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a proud 42-year-old gay man. I used to be legally married to a person for 4 years, but we were together for 12. In 2011, I needed to make the choice to remove him from life support after a sudden traumatic illness. I remained single for six years, after which I met who I assumed was an exquisite man who was 16 years younger. After the primary 12 months, he became controlling and emotionally abusive. Once I ended the connection, I felt a lot freedom.
I even have met someone my age who jogs my memory of my late husband, and we’ve got bonded and are forming a relationship. Up to now, it has only been dating and spending plenty of time together. I’m scared to begin something so soon, nevertheless it feels right.
When is time to maneuver forward? When is a correct time to grow to be intimate? We have now each had bad relationships and respect one another’s boundaries in the intervening time. I won’t ever remarry, as I used to be entitled to survivor advantages from my late husband, and we each agree there are methods to guard one another and our financial needs apart from marriage. Please help. — IN-BETWEEN IN COLORADO
DEAR IN-BETWEEN: It seems to me that you simply and this recent man in your life are doing the whole lot right. You might be attending to know one another and taking your time before becoming intimately involved. The correct time to advance to the subsequent stage could be when each of you’re comfortable with the concept. Communication is essential in every aspect of your relationship, and it appears you’re doing that already.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.