DEAR ABBY: I’m a reasonably laid-back mom of a beautiful 13-year-old daughter. Her friends are nice kids, but a few of them dress pretty provocatively. I actually have seen them wear super-short shorts which might be very “cheeky” and tops that actually expose their assets.
We have now been invited to a celebration at a friend’s home, and my daughter is allowed to bring a friend. The friend she has chosen to ask recurrently dresses in very provocative attire, and I’d feel more comfortable if I knew she was going to decorate “appropriately” by my standards.
I don’t know what to do. Should I discuss with the parents? (Cringe!) Ask my daughter to inform her friend what the dress code is and to convey “Wear something that doesn’t show your butt cheeks”? Or must I ignore it and hope for one of the best? — OVEREXPOSED IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
DEAR OVEREXPOSED: Many teenage girls let all of it hand around in an effort to draw attention. I don’t think you need to discuss with the girl’s mother because I don’t think your comments could be warmly welcomed. As a substitute, ask your daughter to discuss with her friend and suggest that for this occasion, it will be higher to cover up greater than she normally does since the hosts are old-fashioned and might be judgmental — similar to you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 45-year-old male who has been trying for a very long time to vary my attitude. I’m a very nice person when things are going well, but when things get tough, I turn nasty. I discuss with myself some mornings about reacting higher to situations, but then I react as I at all times do when things are hard.
I discovered 4 years ago that I’m bipolar, but I don’t need to use this as an excuse. I also quit weed three years ago within the hope that things would stabilize in my life, which has helped rather a lot. I used to get panic attacks, which stopped once I quit weed. Still, I don’t like the way in which I treat people when my mood is down. I don’t have the means for therapy, in order that just isn’t an option. Do you’ve any advice for me? — MEANIE IN FLORIDA
DEAR MEANIE: Be glad you’ve pinpointed what your problem actually is. I hope you’re receiving treatment on your bipolar disorder. Nevertheless, if you happen to usually are not, then the next move ought to be to seek out a close-by college or university that has a department of psychology and discuss with a professor there about what low-cost mental health services they could have the opportunity to offer.
If this just isn’t an option, inquire at your county’s department of mental health. It’s possible you’ll be surprised to seek out that help is obtainable on a sliding fee scale. I wish you luck in your search.
DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving could be complete without sharing the standard prayer penned by my dear, late mother:
Oh, Heavenly Father,
We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.
We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.
We thank Thee for friends and remember the friendless.
We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.
May these remembrances stir us to service.
That Thy gifts to us could also be used for others.
Amen.
Have a glad and protected celebration, everyone! — LOVE, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.