DEAR ABBY: During my late teens and most of my 20s, I kept journals that filled two full spiral-bound notebooks. I kept them my entire life before reading them for the primary time on my recent seventieth birthday. I discovered it to be an enlightening journey through my past on a really personal level, coping with the highs and lows of those tumultuous years.
I told my youngest son, who’s now in the course of that stage of life and coping with a number of the same things I did, about my journals, and he asked if he could read them. My wife says I should let him, but I’m conflicted about it.
On the one hand, they’d show him he’s not the just one who faces these life challenges, which can help him cope with them and in some ways get to know me higher.
However, these are things (some quite intimate) that weren’t intended to be read by another person, much less my kid. If I do that, then what about my other two adult sons, who do not know the notebooks exist? Your thoughts? — CONFLICTED ON THE COAST
DEAR CONFLICTED: Because you’re feeling conflicted about sharing all the contents of your journals together with your son(s), why not simply impart the vital lessons you were reminded of as you read them? That way, you possibly can skip the embarrassing parts and easily pass along the hard-earned wisdom from which your sons may benefit.
DEAR ABBY: I even have often seen letters in your column from men and ladies concerned about how divorce affects their children, and rightfully so. Because the child of oldsters who stayed together too long, I can state, from my perspective, it isn’t all the time for one of the best.
Children are aware of tension within the household and it is usually damaging — a minimum of it was for my sister and me. We’re still attempting to break the pattern of the submissive behavior my mom flaunted to keep peace within the household.
My father had a temper, and nobody ever desired to cross him. I can state truthfully that my brother, sister and I were relieved when Dad finally moved out. Our lives became far more peaceful and stable. My dad was never physically abusive, but he definitely controlled all the pieces.
Once he moved out and we didn’t must live with him anymore, all of us had a greater relationship with him. Kids know and feel greater than adults imagine they do. People need to provide their children more credit than they do. Do you agree? — LEAVING’S BETTER IN MICHIGAN
DEAR LEAVING’S BETTER: Yes, I do agree. Children sense the strain between their parents, grow up believing it’s normal and sometimes model the identical scenario as adults when selecting mates, which isn’t healthy.
DEAR READERS: That is my timely reminder for all of you who live where daylight saving time is observed: Don’t forget to show your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. Sunday. I sit up for it every year since it signals longer, brighter days and warmer weather. I find the additional light to be a mood elevator and an energizer. Spring is nearly sprung! — LOVE, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.