DEAR ABBY: I’m a recent mom who’s fortunate to have the opportunity to breastfeed. We’ve had several guests come to our house to fulfill the infant, and if she must nurse, I’m going to the couch and permit her to breastfeed. I don’t feel the necessity to hide in one other room in my very own house once I’m comfortable on my couch with all my vital pillows to help.
My sister desired to bring her recent boyfriend over to fulfill my husband, the infant and me. Before they got here, she called to ask me to refrain from “whipping out my boobs” in front of her recent beau. I don’t view breastfeeding as flashing, but she prioritized his comfort over mine in my very own house. I don’t mind using a canopy to shield people from seeing my chest, but was her request valid and will I’m going into one other room in my own residence? — FEEDING IN THE WEST
DEAR FEEDING: Most individuals are aware that breastfeeding is a natural function. If “Sis” is uncomfortable with the concept of her recent boyfriend seeing you breastfeed, the 2 of them should excuse themselves and go to a different room or select a time to go to between feedings.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married six years, and ever since we’ve been married, my husband’s daughter has insisted that I can’t come to her house that my husband has a mortgage on. I feel he should tell her that if his wife isn’t welcome, then he isn’t.
My husband is nineteen years older than I’m and has health issues. I’m there for him and maintain him, and I’m hurt that he doesn’t speak up for me. I feel his daughter should want us to return over together for the sake of her dad. The time is coming when she and the remainder of his family can have to return to our house to see him. I don’t know if I could be so willing to allow them to, since they don’t want me being a part of the family.
I even have talked to my husband about this and I’m getting nowhere. He now has dementia. He forgets quite a bit, and he insists it’s me and never his daughter who says I’m not welcome. I’m at my wit’s end. What do you concentrate on this? — MIFFED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR MIFFED: I feel there could also be some relevant facts you didn’t include in your letter. Does your husband’s daughter resent you due to difference in your ages? Did you’ve gotten anything to do with the breakup of his first marriage? Whenever you wrote “they” don’t want you to be a part of the family, exactly to whom were you referring?
Frankly, if I were in your shoes, the last thing I’d need to do is force my way right into a home where I wasn’t wanted. I wouldn’t be comfortable under those circumstances, and I’m having trouble understanding why you could be.
If the time comes when your husband becomes too incapacitated to go to his daughter and the remainder of the family, please take the high road and do the compassionate thing. Invite them in so that they may be of comfort to your husband. If there may be any strategy to fan the flames of the peace pipe, that’s the strategy to do it.
P.S. Because your husband holds the mortgage on his daughter’s home, I HOPE he has consulted an attorney and put his wishes regarding estate planning in writing.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.