DEAR ABBY: My daughter’s in-laws don’t have any place to go on holidays. They’ve two children, but haven’t spoken to one in all them in several years, so my son-in-law is their only family close by.
I enjoy entertaining and having family over, but I actually don’t look after their company. It’s a unique vibe after they’re here because her father-in-law, “Sam,” and my husband drink an excessive amount of and talk politics (each activities I avoid). They understand how I feel, but make comments behind my back, pondering I don’t hear them.
My husband loves their company and goes out often with my son-in-law and Sam. My daughter understands how I feel. She doesn’t wish to cook or entertain, but will host a vacation every now and then. Nonetheless, it doesn’t solve the issue, because I find yourself doing lots of the work and I miss not entertaining in my own residence. Please advise. — CATCH-22 IN NEW YORK
DEAR CATCH-22: I’m unsure why you are feeling it’s your responsibility to entertain your daughter’s in-laws on every holiday. Discuss this along with your husband (when he’s sober) and tell him you don’t prefer it when he and Sam get drunk, talk politics and make snide remarks behind your back. Inform him he must be more respectful, or the in-laws won’t be invited to your own home for the vacations anymore.
Nowhere in your letter did you mention your daughter’s mother-in-law. Do you’ve gotten anything in common along with her? In that case, spend most of your time along with her and your daughter or, once the meal has been served, ask them in the event that they’d wish to exit to a movie, get some exercise, etc. That way you won’t be forced to stay around when the “boys” over imbibe and indulge themselves of their favorite subject.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.