DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, “Rick,” and I broke up 10 years ago and reunited two years ago. I’m in good health, own my own residence, and am financially independent. Rick is nine years older. He owns his own residence and is retired. We’ve got been seeing one another every week for the last two years. He has spent many hours painting and doing repairs to my house. I cook for him and provides him massages, and now we have a improbable sex life.
So, what’s the problem? Rick is emotionally involved with one other woman. He claims they aren’t in any way sexually involved. Should I tell her about his involvement with me? I actually have her name, address and phone number. Rick refuses to inform her about me because he says it is going to “upset her.” I feel she should know. What do you think that I should do? I like him dearly and don’t wish to lose him. — BEING PLAYED IN NEW JERSEY?
DEAR BEING PLAYED?: Hearken to your intuition. The very first thing you need to do (when you haven’t) is ask Rick WHY that woman’s knowing about you’d “upset” her. (Does she think his relationship along with her is exclusive?) The second can be to inform him you want to him to introduce the 2 of you. If he refuses, call her. You should know exactly what’s occurring, which could also be that they’re far more involved than he has been admitting.
DEAR ABBY: My friend “Chris” and I made a decision to go on a weekend trip together. The tickets needed to be purchased before they sold out. I told Chris I’d put them on my bank card, and Chris agreed to pay me back. Our original plan was to stick with a bunch of individuals, but on the last minute, Chris admitted to being upset that we weren’t going alone.
Not wanting to upset Chris, I canceled plans with the opposite group. Chris offered to pay for the food, which I assumed was great and would replace a few of what was owed me. But once we got to the register, Chris stepped back so I’d pay. Almost as soon as we got to the hotel, Chris and Chris’ partner got in an argument on the phone and spent a lot of the trip arguing via text.
The night before we were presupposed to leave, Chris and I got into an argument. I lost Chris in a crowd, and once I got back to the hotel, they were packing their bag and leaving. We sat down, talked and agreed tensions were high, but Chris still desired to end the trip early.
The trip was three months ago. Since then, I actually have texted Chris multiple times asking to be repaid and have received no response. I assumed possibly Chris is mad at me, but they still send me our traditional day by day meme. Abby, they offered to pay me back a number of times before the trip but never followed through. At this point, I don’t know what to do. — TRIPPING OUT IN INDIANA
DEAR TRIPPING OUT: At this point, you need to write off the cash you’re due from Chris. It must be clear by now that your friend is a flake and has other issues as well.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.