DEAR ABBY: I’m a healthy, single, 76-year-old man. I spend plenty of time at a neighborhood gym. I met a girl there two years ago, and we went out for coffee. She’s a number of years younger than I’m. She told me she was married, however it was a “complex” marriage. What began as a friendship morphed into an intimate affair.
We have now many common interests and spend as much time as we will together, given the circumstances. I do know she’s going to never get divorced. I’ve fallen in love together with her, but I actually have never pressured her to divorce. She has grown children, and he or she doesn’t need to upset them. I get it. There are also financial considerations and entanglements.
During the last six months, our relationship has turn out to be strained. It has become a push-pull sort of situation. I understand it’s unhealthy for each of us, but I can’t appear to let her go. We’ve come to the brink several times, but we all the time have talked through it, and we keep limping along. I don’t know methods to stop loving her. Even desirous about it causes me great mental distress. I’m searching for suggestions to ease the pain and determine methods to move on. — LOVING A MARRIED WOMAN IN MAINE
DEAR LOVING: Because desirous about it causes you excellent mental distress, go cold turkey. You deserve greater than to be someone’s side dish, but with a view to discover a more fulfilling relationship, it’s essential to let this woman go and permit her to concentrate on her “complex” marriage. Then, keep yourself busy, join one other gym, avoid places where the 2 of you used to hang around and get back into the swing of life.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been with my boyfriend for six years. He’s wonderful. We became engaged last 12 months. His family has been nice to me, but on holidays, I dread bringing a dish or dessert because none of them touch whatever I bring. It’s insulting and hurtful. I find yourself upset and toss it within the trash.
I come from a big family. My parents immigrated from the Philippines, and I look ahead to our family holiday celebrations. All of us cook, appreciate and luxuriate in each dish or dessert we bring. I don’t know if my fiance’s family is afraid to try my cooking though I make common, easy, American dishes.
He doesn’t see the large deal once I raise the topic with him. My sisters all say I should stop bringing anything. Am I too sensitive? Is it price taking anything to those gatherings? — HURT COOK IN KENTUCKY
DEAR COOK: Ask whoever is hosting these family get-togethers what the issue could also be. It could don’t have anything to do together with your cooking, and more to do with the actual fact they’re set of their ways in the case of holiday celebrations. I actually have to say I agree together with your sisters. Reasonably than waste the food, give it to a friend or relative who might enjoy it, keep it for yourself and your fiance, or bring nothing greater than just a little “host” gift with you. Assorted nuts come to mind.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.