DEAR ABBY: I actually have recently been diagnosed with a chronic illness. I’m only 40, and I at all times took with no consideration that I had loads of life left to live. I’m happily married, but I worry because my husband, “Al,” has grow to be my caretaker. I feel terrible about it.
My condition could be very limiting. I’m in pain on a regular basis and could have to stop working completely. I actually have developed depression and infrequently cry at home. I feel so guilty, as if I actually have ruined his life. Al swears he just desires to be with me regardless of what we now have to undergo. I’m just unsure I can handle holding him back from the remaining of his life as well. I like him a lot. What should I do? — CHANGED IN TEXAS
DEAR CHANGED: Please allow me to supply my sympathy on your diagnosis. Having a painful, life-limiting health condition at such a young age would depress anyone. Please stop adding to it by burdening yourself with guilt for needing your husband’s help. He loves you, and has assured you he “just desires to be with you regardless of what.”
It’s vital that you just discuss your depression and guilt together with your doctor. It’s possible you’ll need counseling, medication and maybe a support group to make it easier to with the life adjustments that will lie ahead. Please gather your resolve to fight these negative emotions and reach out for the make it easier to need. It’s there, and when you do, you’ll realize you may have a complete team able to make it easier to through this.
DEAR ABBY: I’m in a book club I began with friends 13 years ago. The 12 of us have grown close and value, appreciate and respect one another. I recently invited a childhood friend to hitch. She’s an avid reader.
Abby, although she’s a pleasant person, she simply doesn’t slot in with the group. She talks an excessive amount of, tends to brag quite a bit and makes insensitive comments. An example: Two of us are leaving on a cruise soon, and he or she shared how tacky and claustrophobic she thinks those trips are. The remaining of the group were appalled, and I feel awful that I introduced her into my longtime book club.
Then again, I cannot fathom telling my childhood friend the group would favor she not attend. I’m sure it might be hurtful. Just a few of us are hoping you should have an answer. Please help. — READING THE ROOM
DEAR READING: How about being completely honest? Tell your childhood friend that if she desires to remain a member of the book club, she is going to must brag and talk less and refrain from making insensitive comments. If she asks what you mean by that, repeat the instance you shared with me.
P.S. While I can understand why the 2 of you who’re happening the cruise might need been shocked into silence, it might have been higher if those two had spoken up and confronted your friend about why she would volunteer something so negative.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.