DEAR ABBY: My husband and I actually have been together for six years, married for 4. Now we have had loads of marriage issues through the previous few years, sexually and otherwise. I not trust him due to something I came upon last yr.
I actually have his email information, and I also was in a position to see the search history from his phone on the pc. I discovered that he watches loads of porn. I don’t think it’s a giant deal because I do know many men and girls do. But I saw he was also watching gay porn and looking for pictures of well-endowed guys. Does this mean my husband is gay and likes men? Or does it just mean he likes different sexual things?
I’m undecided what to do. I don’t know if I should approach the topic with him. I don’t want him to know I’m snooping around, so how do I ask him about it without telling him how I do know? Or should I just let it go? — KNOWS TOO MUCH IN TEXAS
DEAR KNOWS: Your husband could also be bisexual, gay or bi-curious. You wouldn’t have checked his phone history should you hadn’t felt “something” was flawed. Don’t let it go. You won’t ever know the reality unless you ask for it. This doesn’t necessarily need to be a marriage-breaker. Nevertheless, in case your husband has wandered (off the screen), call your doctor and ask to be tested for STDs.
DEAR ABBY: My mother puts pictures of me on Facebook, often old ones, and invariably says, “Look how skinny you were!” I’m 60 now, and I don’t look skinny anymore. Her comments trouble me greatly. Recently, my daughters-in-law said something to her on Facebook about commenting on my weight and the way they don’t see me as chubby but as an entire and wonderful person.
Now, my mother is offended. She says her feelings are hurt because she thought she was “paying me a compliment.” I can’t make her understand that you simply just don’t make comments on people’s weight, especially on social media. It’s unkind. How do I get through to her? — WEIGHTY ISSUE
DEAR WEIGHTY ISSUE: If you happen to think attempting to reason with someone as insensitive as your mother will work, forget it. You possibly can get through to her by telling her in plain English that her backhanded “compliment” hurt YOU, and also you don’t want it repeated in public OR in private, and if she does it again, you and your loved ones will block her on social media — if not out of your lives. You deserve an apology. You don’t owe her one.
DEAR ABBY: My husband is 59. He’s on long-term disability because he has been affected by a significant depression for greater than a yr. He has asked me not to inform our acquaintances or my co-workers about his health issues. My query is, how should I respond when people ask me what my husband does? I don’t prefer to say he’s retired because that just isn’t the case. — QUESTIONED IN QUEBEC, CANADA
DEAR QUESTIONED: If you happen to are asked, tell the questioners that your husband is semi-retired. It’s the reality, and nobody knows how long it is going to be until he’s again fully employed.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.