DEAR ABBY: My father-in-law and I are only cut from different cloth. We’re political opposites, although we do get along for essentially the most part. On a family vacation (we were visiting them), we were going out for dinner. My wife and I knew he was going to take us to a restaurant we each have ethical issues with. I handed him a ten% off coupon for a distinct nearby restaurant and said, “Here’s another choice for dinner.”
When he responded that he thought we’d go to the primary place, I said, “Sorry. I even have some moral issues with it and won’t eat there. Is there some other place we are able to go?” He then blew up at me, saying things like, “In the event you’re not paying, what difference does it make?” and “Because you’re our guest, it’s rude of you to refuse.” My wife agreed that he was out of line. What do you’re thinking that? Was it rude of us as their guests? Or rude of him as a bunch to not accommodate us? — NOT GOING THERE IN NEBRASKA
DEAR NOT GOING: You’ve got a loyal and loving wife. Nevertheless, a more honest and fewer biased spouse would have identified (privately) that your manners were atrocious. A gracious guest accepts the hospitality offered by their host reasonably than attempting to turn the occasion into an illustration of cancel culture. You owe your father-in-law an apology.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired and are each managing separate cancer diagnoses. This makes our funds hard to predict within the event considered one of us needs expensive medication. We did a very good job saving for retirement and live comfortably.
Our adult daughter contracted Lyme disease 10 years ago and have become very ailing. She endured years of painful treatments — which weren’t covered by insurance — during which era her husband divorced her. We stepped in to assist along with her medical bills. While the Lyme is not any longer detectable in her system, among the symptoms have never completely gone away. Now she’s undergoing more tests taking a look at a hormone imbalance.
My husband is offended that we’re still paying a few of her medical bills. (She works, has insurance and pays for what she will.) We are able to afford to assist her, and I don’t understand why her father doesn’t need to help her anymore. We’ve argued about this persistently over time, and I’m frustrated with the situation. I’m not willing to present up on her like so many others have. What can I say to him the subsequent time he confronts me about paying her medical bills? — DEVOTED IN OREGON
DEAR DEVOTED: It could be time to stop arguing together with your husband about this. Your adult daughter works and has medical insurance. You and your husband are each medically fragile. While I understand your desire to guard your daughter, it is best to not be supplementing her income if it threatens your access to the medications you could need in the longer term.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.