DEAR ABBY: My husband and I met our neighbor “Maggie” at some point while she was walking her dog. She has since befriended me via additional meetings on the road and walks about once per week. She’s 68, has been looking unsuccessfully for a job for 3 years and has financial difficulties. I even have given advice to her on job searches.
I even have noticed that she has taken pictures with me in them and pictures of the front of our house. I recently got here home late, and she or he gave the impression to be lurking near the front of our house. She has asked about our alarm system and after we will likely be out of town. It’s beginning to freak me out. How do I unload this person and determine whether she is just troubled or dangerous? — CREEPED OUT IN THE EAST
DEAR CREEPED OUT: Start being less available for those walks. Vary your schedule so she won’t run into you as often. Use your alarm system religiously and install cameras in your house. In light of the crime situation in lots of communities, that is prudent, no matter your concern about this neighbor, who could also be harmless but whose behavior seems odd.
DEAR ABBY: Once I am planning an event or making reservations, I even have a friend who at all times desires to know who’s being invited. She also desires to dictate what number of guests I should invite. If she arrives late, she gets upset if I haven’t saved her a seat next to me. She’s very high maintenance.
We’ve been friends for a few years, and I don’t need to lose that, but she’s getting on my last nerve. She makes any event that I plan nerve-wracking. I even have tried talking to her about it, but her response is that she’s sorry I don’t understand her! Please help. — MISERABLE PARTY PLANNER
DEAR PLANNER: Chances are you’ll want to take care of the connection, but don’t you think that it’s time you drew a firm line with this nervy, pushy woman? It doesn’t take a genius to “understand” her. She is controlling and insecure, and you’ve gotten allowed it.
The following time you propose a celebration, leave her off the guest list. You’ll be able to be certain word will get back to her, and when it does, she is going to ask you why. When it happens, be prepared to calmly tell her exactly what you’ve gotten written to me. You say you might be all the way down to your “last nerve.” Imagine me, telling her calmly is best than erupting.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with a pair of various women and each time I take off my clothes, I get laughed at and told to dress. Why is that? — IT’S A MYSTERY IN INDIANA
DEAR MYSTERY: You shouldn’t be taking your clothes off with anyone unless you might be absolutely sure that seeing more of you is welcome. That somebody would laugh at you is insensitive and unkind. These will not be the sort of women you have to be pursuing. Higher luck next time.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.