DEAR ABBY: I’m in a gaggle of friends who’re mainly from the identical country. We bond pretty much and sometimes spend time together. We mostly communicate by text in a chat group. Occasionally I get messages from them — mostly greetings or chats about general stuff, but nothing personal.
I’m an introvert, so I’m comfortable with the extent of closeness we’ve right away. I don’t crave deeper connections with them, and I’m joyful with how things are. If I actually have the prospect to get together, I do my best to see them for meals or other activities.
In just a few weeks, there may be a plan for us to do an out of doors activity that requires an overnight stay. I’m not enthusiastic about it. It makes me nervous to take into consideration spending that much time with individuals who usually are not my family. I don’t mind having lunch and chitchatting all afternoon, but being around them for greater than 24 hours looks like an excessive amount of to handle.
I attempted hinting that I’m not interested in saying I don’t have any equipment for the activity. Now there may be pressure for me to go because they suggested I can use their equipment. I actually don’t know how one can say I don’t need to go without seeming like I’m antisocial. Please help! — PEER-PRESSURED
DEAR PEER-PRESSURED: Everybody is different. Not everyone seems to be an extrovert and in a position to handle the stimulation of being around other people for an prolonged time period.
In case you were to just accept the invitation, would there be a way you may manage some alone time so you may recharge your batteries? In case you could, it would solve your problem. Nonetheless, if the reply to that query is not any, be honest. Tell your pals the reality, that that is one tour you’ll have to pass on and why.
DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old daughter has a girlfriend she’s been “dating” for about eight months. They’re not sexually energetic, and so they only see one another socially a few weekend days every month, but they do FaceTime with one another daily. From what I can gather, also they are attached on the hip during school hours.
My concern is the length of this relationship. I remember after I was their age I had a crush on a unique boy practically every week, and boyfriends didn’t last long. Is it healthy for her to be in such a serious relationship? She’s a really social person, has a lot of friends and is energetic in sports. A part of me wishes they might break up so she will be able to experience other relationships and never be tied down at such a young age. What do you’re thinking that? — TWEEN’S MOM IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR MOM: I believe that because your friendships ended after only a short while once you were your daughter’s age doesn’t mean that hers will (or should). Best friendships can last for years and even many years. Let your daughter mature at her own pace, and resist the urge to interfere.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.