DEAR ABBY: After attending a water aerobics class for 3 months, I even have had it with the talkers within the pool. I’m not the just one annoyed that a handful of girls disrespect the instructors and the remainder of the category. They’ve been asked to cool down by instructors and the opposite participants. There may be even an indication on the door asking for limited talking.
These elderly ladies are oblivious to how loud and disturbing they’re. Some have hearing loss and the acoustics in an indoor pool are terrible, so their voices just get louder and louder. I kid you not, two of them talk the complete hour, which makes it difficult for the remainder of us to listen to the teacher or the music thoroughly.
They’re kidding themselves in the event that they think they’re understanding — they simply bob up and down and talk. Every so often, they ask “What are we doing now?” because they aren’t being attentive. When these ladies start talking to one another, those nearby get distracted and may’t work out, either.
Am I flawed to think that when a category starts, the talking should stop so everyone can take part in the category? — SPLASHING MAD IN NORTH IDAHO
DEAR SPLASHING: You aren’t flawed. The instructor should tell these ladies they’re being disruptive to the category and to restrict their chatter to the changing room — or, if they can’t comply, to go away the world.
DEAR ABBY: My wife, “Connie,” is an angel. She takes care of her aging father in addition to my sister, who suffers from Alzheimer’s. This, along with her religious practices, consumes most of her time, energy and emotional resources. She often arrives home within the late afternoon or early evening stressed and completely exhausted.
An elderly and physically challenged neighbor has occasionally relied on Connie for help with little tasks. Nonetheless, the girl recently suffered an event that requires her to have an important deal more help, and Connie feels “roped into” providing it.
I believe that in light of Connie’s prior family commitments, she shouldn’t feel obligated to supply the additional help this neighbor now needs. I worry that these extra responsibilities shall be detrimental to her health, and I even have told her so. She acknowledges my position, but feels obligated toward this neighbor.
What can I tell my wife to make her realize that for her own sake, in addition to the sake of the family for whom she provides care, she needs to find out her limits and priorities and resist yielding to additional cries for help? — AT THE LIMIT IN OREGON
DEAR AT THE LIMIT: You’re married to a rescuer. She continually puts the needs of others before her own welfare. You aren’t flawed to be concerned. In some unspecified time in the future, Connie may thoroughly burn out. All you’ll be able to do as her husband is be supportive, remind her concerning the importance of caring for herself (she won’t give you the option to assist anyone if she breaks down), and step in if it starts to affect her own health.
Quite than tackle all the day-to-day look after this neighbor, might or not it’s easier for Connie to coordinate outside help to do it? It’s a matter price asking.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.