DEAR ABBY: My husband and I even have been friends with one other couple for a few years. We might get together occasionally, and we mostly enjoyed their company. When the home across the road from ours became available, they bought it.
Not long after they moved in, the wife began copying our interior and exterior design elements and one night stood in our kitchen and said, “Well you realize, all the pieces’s a contest.” To say we were dismayed can be an understatement. My husband and I spent a few years collecting vintage furniture and other items to create a particular home. It has been a labor of affection.
Six months ago, we installed a novel garage door, unlike anything within the neighborhood. Abby, inside three months she installed the very same one! Are we mistaken to seek out it crass and disrespectful?
We not need to spend time with them but don’t need to completely sever the connection because they’re neighbors, and we even have some mutual friends. Moving shouldn’t be an option; that is our home. What should we do? — FED UP IN OHIO
DEAR FED UP: I understand why you might be frosted and want to distance yourself. Who desires to be near someone who considers “all the pieces” to be a contest? Perhaps it can lessen your frustration to keep in mind that imitation is the sincerest type of flattery, when you learn to simply accept stuff you cannot change. In fact it’s in your best interest to maintain things cordial, however it may be higher in case you not invite this woman into your private home.
DEAR ABBY: I lost my beautiful mother six years ago. While, after all, I miss her terribly, something else has been bothering me that I’m having trouble getting over. I allowed my cousin on my dad’s side of the family to come back to the hospital to see me and pay her respects, which didn’t hassle me. It’s what occurred next that I even have the massive issue with.
When my cousin left the hospital, she jumped straight on Facebook and posted for everybody to see “RIP, Aunt Sally.” Everyone who was friends with Mom saw the post, which meant she announced my mom’s passing before I had even had time to process all of it. I used to be extremely hurt, offended, sad and shocked that she would do this.
It still bothers me because it’s not something that could be undone. I used to be still lying beside my mom crying and attempting to say goodbye to her when my phone began blowing up with messages and notifications. How can I get past the betrayal I feel? I even have had little or no contact with that cousin since. — HURT IN FLORIDA
DEAR HURT: Please accept my sympathy for the lack of your mother. On this web age, it’s common for people to post their feelings online. Your cousin could have been venting somewhat than aspiring to make a proper announcement of your mother’s passing. The issue with posting is that when it’s on there, it’s on the market for everybody to see and react to.
I do think that is something you must check with your cousin, who may not have realized how her online sentiments affected you on that sad and stressful day. You deserve an apology for her insensitivity.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
