You can also appear like Hannibal Lecter for the low, low price of just about $1,000.
This week, the British tech company Dyson, which dries your hands at airports and makes cost-prohibitive vacuum cleaners you won’t ever actually buy, unveiled their cockamamie latest Zone noise-canceling headphones that concurrently purify the air — offensively priced at $949.
Can additionally they purify the ground? Because I’ve just vomited.
Take a look at them. This veritable skull cage is barely less flattering than orthodontic headgear, and hides your smile as a substitute of improving it.
Essentially, you’re dropping a cool grand to get beat up on the playground by Nelson from “The Simpsons.”
As futuristic is it pretends to be, Zone is a regressive device in additional ways than one.
While Apple has made wearable tech more unassuming — its sexier, over-the-ear AirPods Max cost about half of the Zone’s price — Dyson desires to turn deep-pocketed consumers into Dumas’ Man within the Iron Mask. Only here, Dumas is spelled d-u-m-b-a-s-s.
The corporate have to be targeting the freakish pandemic holdovers who still wear N95 masks on jogs within the park on a windy day, or alone within the automotive on the technique to work. We’re all clearing our drawers of old cloth face coverings — why not fill the void with a large metal one? The Zone is alleged to filter 99% of particle pollution, but Dyson doesn’t go up to now as to say it prevents COVID.
They do, nevertheless, say that with the air-filter attachment, the headphones weigh a hefty 1.5 kilos — about 10% the burden of the common human head. Call your chiropractor!
But wouldn’t it’s nice to breathe perfectly sterile air more often than not? Not likely.
Experts say that this fall the US endured its highest flu hospitalization rate in a decade, blaming a scarcity of exposure to germs during COVID lockdowns.
“We suspect that many children are being exposed to some respiratory viruses now for the primary time, having avoided these viruses through the height of the pandemic,” said Dr. José Romero, director of the CDC’s National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases.
And what goes higher with an electronic anti-germ mask than noise cancelation? Now it’s super easy to be an anti-social shut-in from anywhere on the planet!
So, the Zone is right for the one that desires to appear like a moron all day, inhale scuba-tank quality air and never consult with or hear anybody. It’s also suitable for anyone seeking to come down with the worst flu of their life after briefly removing the headphones-mask at a restaurant.
The Zone shall be available in March — by appointment only. But anybody who drops $1,000 on this Google Glass 2.0 really needs an appointment with a therapist.