A Reflection for Tuesday of the Thirty-third Week in Strange Time
Find today’s readings here.
So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree with a view to see Jesus,
who was about to pass that way.
When he reached the place, Jesus looked up… (Lk 19:4-5)
The query I’m about to ask you is probably going going to be unsettling. The indisputable fact that I’ve written, deleted, tried to rewrite in other words and returned to the initial words I first wrote reveals just how discomfiting the query I’m about to pose to you possibly can be. But, it’s a matter that may unlock a recent chapter in your spiritual life. It would also very possibly spoil the image of God you might have formed until now. And for those seasoned Ignatians for whom the query may now be old-hat: Well, this is perhaps an excellent refresher, restart or return to something you realize, but may not practice anymore.
“How does God take a look at you?”
Uncomfortable?
After listening to people I accompany for spiritual direction berate themselves, often at length and with overwhelming conviction, over all they’ve done or not done and the way unworthy they’re to call themselves “Christian,” this query almost all the time stops them of their tracks. We spend much time pondering and praying to God, saying our usual prayers, but how often can we stop to think about what God sees when God sees me, or hears me, or touches me? (Yes, we’re going there!)
For St. Ignatius Loyola, that’s the cash query we’re invited to ask God at first of each prayer period. (See Spiritual Exercises, No. 75).
That’s the facility of that singular moment of attention; it allows us no excuses, ends delay and procrastination, and provides no escape.
Think in regards to the power of the gaze. Two lovers taking a look at one another with intentional passion as if the world around them has evaporated. What about that selection time when a parent chooses to look you squarely within the eyes to attract your attention to something you’ve done that has hurt or offended a sibling or stranger, or to say “I really like you” when the world around you appears to be crumbling? Each instances are deliberately chosen and have singular significance and strength within the lives of those that experience them. Again, perhaps it isn’t a gaze, but hearing, touching or sensing that somebody is listening to you in a specific way at a selected moment; making you unquestionably aware that every one that is very important in that moment is the connection between you and them.
The Gospel story of Zacchaeus appears to present such a moment. It isn’t even clear whether Zacchaeus climbed that tree simply out of curiosity—to see the Jesus everyone had been talking about, as any person might do in the event that they knew a star was going to be on the town—or if Zacchaeus wanted, in actual fact, to catch Jesus’ attention, as we’d do if we arrive in a crowd and wish to signal our presence to the person we’re searching for. Whatever it was, we do know from the story that Zacchaeus “was looking for to see who Jesus was,” and was too short in stature to try this from his vantage point so he climbed a tree. Then, at that very moment, when he’s enacting the choice to see Jesus, “Jesus looked up and said, ‘Zacchaeus, come down quickly, for today I need to stay at your home.’” Some Bible translations, in actual fact, go further, and add that Jesus not only looked up but that “Jesus looked up, and saw him.” It seems that is all it takes. “And he got here down quickly and received him with joy.”
Jesus’ gaze, his purposeful attention to Zacchaeus, appears to have modified Zacchaeus so profoundly that he’s crammed with joy and can’t delay in his plan of action nor proceed as he was before, leading Zacchaeus to desert the fabric excesses of his life and to pursue a more honest life in service of others.
That’s the facility of that singular moment of attention; it allows us no excuses, ends delay and procrastination, and provides no escape. After we are in a position to see ourselves (and others) how God sees us (and them), and to permit ourselves to ask God that query, we see God as God sees us. And if we are able to learn anything from Zacchaeus, what God sees before Godself is an individual God is interested and invested in, who’s infinitely greater than that person can see that they’re.
P.S: In case you’re desirous about learning more about this point, I heartily recommend reading “ God Looking At You: Ignatius’ Third Addition” by Robert Marsh, S.J., an article that appeared in October 2004 in The Way, the spirituality journal of the Jesuits in Britain.