DEAR ABBY: My daughter is the youngest kid within the neighborhood, and a lady up the road treats her horribly. She calls her a baby, tells her she’s not an individual and sends her home when everybody plays at her house.
The opposite kids are friendly with my daughter, and once they come to play at our house, the mean girl comes too. She’s never mean to my daughter after I’m around, but I don’t think it’s right to let her enjoy our pool and games when she won’t let my daughter play at her house.
How do I ask her to go away without seeming like a bully while allowing the opposite kids to remain and play? The opposite mother is of no help. — WANTS THE BULLY TO LEAVE
DEAR WANTS THE BULLY TO LEAVE: I assume the opposite mother is aware that her daughter refuses to permit your daughter to play at her house with the opposite kids. Because she hasn’t intervened, the ball is in your court. Teach your daughter a lesson in assertiveness. The subsequent time the bully shows up, your daughter should tell the girl she will not be welcome and why.
DEAR ABBY: We made plans on Sunday to get along with a pair the next Friday. We do that repeatedly. An hour before, I texted to ensure we were still on. I didn’t receive an instantaneous reply. A half-hour later, I called and was told yes. I replied, “Great! See you soon.”
Five minutes later, she texted me to say they were going out to dinner because friends from out of state had surprised them and “perhaps tomorrow we are able to get together.” We’re very disenchanted in our close friends who made plans with us but modified their minds. Are we flawed to feel hurt? We could have modified our plans because some out-of-state friends showed up, but we didn’t. — HURT ON THE EAST COAST
DEAR HURT: I understand your feelings, but I hope you won’t nurse a grudge. Your mates made a snap decision on the spur of the moment which, unfortunately, lacked tact. It may need been higher if, when these out-of-state friends appeared on their doorstep, the couple had contacted you and asked in the event that they could bring the people along. They dropped the ball. Forgive them — this time.
DEAR ABBY: What does it mean when our daughter’s mother-in-law refuses to call my husband and me by our first names? In truth, she doesn’t call us anything. I bend over backward to be hospitable and treat her the way in which we would like to be treated. — NAMELESS IN THE EAST
DEAR NAMELESS: How DOES she address you? “Mr.” and “Mrs.”? “Hey, you”? “Dear” or “Sweetie”? Have you ever told her this bothers you? It could mean she doesn’t particularly like either of you and that is her way of distancing. It could also mean that she will be able to’t remember what your names are. You may’t go flawed in case you proceed treating her as you wish to be treated and take a look at harder to not take this so personally.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter is the youngest kid within the neighborhood, and a lady up the road treats her horribly. She calls her a baby, tells her she’s not an individual and sends her home when everybody plays at her house.
The opposite kids are friendly with my daughter, and once they come to play at our house, the mean girl comes too. She’s never mean to my daughter after I’m around, but I don’t think it’s right to let her enjoy our pool and games when she won’t let my daughter play at her house.
How do I ask her to go away without seeming like a bully while allowing the opposite kids to remain and play? The opposite mother is of no help. — WANTS THE BULLY TO LEAVE
DEAR WANTS THE BULLY TO LEAVE: I assume the opposite mother is aware that her daughter refuses to permit your daughter to play at her house with the opposite kids. Because she hasn’t intervened, the ball is in your court. Teach your daughter a lesson in assertiveness. The subsequent time the bully shows up, your daughter should tell the girl she will not be welcome and why.
DEAR ABBY: We made plans on Sunday to get along with a pair the next Friday. We do that repeatedly. An hour before, I texted to ensure we were still on. I didn’t receive an instantaneous reply. A half-hour later, I called and was told yes. I replied, “Great! See you soon.”
Five minutes later, she texted me to say they were going out to dinner because friends from out of state had surprised them and “perhaps tomorrow we are able to get together.” We’re very disenchanted in our close friends who made plans with us but modified their minds. Are we flawed to feel hurt? We could have modified our plans because some out-of-state friends showed up, but we didn’t. — HURT ON THE EAST COAST
DEAR HURT: I understand your feelings, but I hope you won’t nurse a grudge. Your mates made a snap decision on the spur of the moment which, unfortunately, lacked tact. It may need been higher if, when these out-of-state friends appeared on their doorstep, the couple had contacted you and asked in the event that they could bring the people along. They dropped the ball. Forgive them — this time.
DEAR ABBY: What does it mean when our daughter’s mother-in-law refuses to call my husband and me by our first names? In truth, she doesn’t call us anything. I bend over backward to be hospitable and treat her the way in which we would like to be treated. — NAMELESS IN THE EAST
DEAR NAMELESS: How DOES she address you? “Mr.” and “Mrs.”? “Hey, you”? “Dear” or “Sweetie”? Have you ever told her this bothers you? It could mean she doesn’t particularly like either of you and that is her way of distancing. It could also mean that she will be able to’t remember what your names are. You may’t go flawed in case you proceed treating her as you wish to be treated and take a look at harder to not take this so personally.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
