Attraction can fade over time, but in accordance with an authority there’s a reason for that.
Starielle Hope Newman, a content creator studying human relationships, claims attraction between couples fades not due to their actual attraction to one another, but as a result of a block within the flow of energy from one partner to the opposite.
Newman, who calls herself a “personal trainer for love,” demonstrated what she meant in an Instagram video, using a diagram she drew to clarify her theory.
“Attraction happens when energy is capable of flow freely between two people,” she said. “We call this chemistry.”
For example this, she drew two individuals with a transparent glass pane between them — symbolizing when a relationship starts and “it’s completely clear.”
“There’s no resentment, nothing unsaid and energy is capable of flow freely,” she explained. “Over time, things go unsaid.”
Newman says this stuff left unsaid construct up over time and might stop the energy flow — and spark — between people.
To point out this, she showed a “muddied” pane of glass between the 2 people.
“Every time there’s some even small conflict that goes unresolved, it’s like throwing a bunch of mud at that pane of glass,” she explained. “Over time, increasingly more of this stuff occur. And also you’ve got increasingly more mud, a lot mud that you would be able to’t even see one another through the glass, so you will have much less have energy flow.”
Obviously the more “mud” — or miscommunication — that builds up, the more a relationship will break down, but it could be fixed if each individuals are committed to putting in additional effort.
To resolve this, Newman suggests actually having the difficult conversations that may “clear the mud.”
“[Losing the spark] has nothing to do with needing to spice things up,’” she said.
In line with psychotherapist and executive coach Daryl Appleton, there are methods to get essentially the most out of a difficult conversation with a partner.
Appleton suggested avoiding using blaming language or criticizing too harshly. She also warns against having conversations when you find yourself drained or hungry, to make sure you don’t say things you would possibly regret later.