Death becomes them.
The denizens of the Arconia are back at it with murder mysteries, amateur detective work and world class one liners.
Season three of the Emmy Award winning Hulu show premieres August 8.
The series follows a trinity of true crime enthusiasts (and probable fixed signs) played by Selena Gomez, Steve Martin and Martin Short as they trauma bond over bloodshed, clues and the lies they tell one another.
Season one found the three tracking down a killer amongst their high-end neighbors while season two detailed their journey to exonerate themselves in a second murder. Season three ended with one more shocking death.
Oh, and it’s a comedy.
Last season saw the addition of Paul Rudd and Cara Delevingne to the forged as a dead actor and a dubious artist, respectively.
This season the show shall be graced by the addition of Meryl Streep and Jesse Williams.
The official character description reveals that Williams will play “a documentarian with a selected interest within the case” and Streep will play a broadway actress.
Read on to learn which “Only Murders Within the Constructing” character aligns together with your zodiac sign.
Cinda Canning (Tina Fey)
At their worst, Aries folk fire off on the mouth with little regard for the way their verbal shrapnel will land.
As the primary register the zodiac they’ve a rollicking and endearing sort of kid energy that when gone unchecked can become full blown tyranny because it has within the case of Cinda, played by Tina Fey.
In true Aries fashion, Cinda is allergic to slow motion and hooked on chaos, telling the trio “Embrace the mess. That’s where the good things lives.”
Donna Williams (Da’Vine Joy Randolph)
Taurus folk may be hard working and self-punishing, prioritizing gains; skilled, capital and otherwise over their personal relationships.
Bulls are likely to each crave and resent the work they do.
As a set earth sign, Taureans like Donna struggle to alter course or give up habits when their minds have been set, qualities we see in Donna’s smoking habit and initial refusal to entertain the opportunity of murder in Tim Kono’s death.
Runner up within the running of the bulls is Teddy Dimas, played with aplomb by Nathan Lane.
A loyal deli running, grave robber with a taste for the finer things, Teddy strikes back violently on the mildest whiff of betrayal and his attempts at fatherly love look markedly like control.
Howard Morris (Michael Cyril Creighton)
Gemini is the third register the zodiac and its resident busy body.
Apropos of this, Howard Morris lives in apartment 3C and likes to talk smack, spill tea, lodge formal complaints and “spread hot goss.”
Equal parts mercurial and curious, Geminis curate a large and strange plethora of interests, point proven by cat enthusiast and yodelshop quartet captain Howard.
Bunny Folger (Jayne Houdyshell)
Cancer rules the fourth house of home and ancestry and is deeply tied to the past and its traditions.
In turn, Cancer queen Bunny Folger lived her entire life in the identical Arcona apartment, eventually rising to rule over it as a protracted serving board president hell bent on preserving the constructing’s legacy.
Cancers often display a tricky exterior shell that belies their true, and truly tender natures.
We see this in Bunny whose hard edges and harsh words are a front for her generosity and secret sweetness and who advises, in true water sign fashion, “Don’t let yourself only love one thing – because for those who only love one thing and that one thing foes away, well, then you definately’re left with nothing. And that sucks.”
Oliver Putnam (Martin Short)
Leo is ruled by the sun and natives often confuse themselves with it.
Gregarious with delusions of grandeur, Oliver, played by Martin Short, represents a number of the high and low qualities of the lion pride.
Siphoning his son’s college fund to fund his Broadway show?
Big time Leo vibes. Leo is the sign of royalty and purple the facility color of monarchs.
In kind, Oliver wears a number of it.
For all their pomp and self-importance, Leos rally hard for the underdog each literal and metaphorical, a fact made evident in Oliver’s affections for Winnie, his maligned bulldog.
Poppy White (Adina Verson)
Virgo rules the sixth house of service and Poppy White, played by Adina Verson, makes good on the association as Cinda’s “rockstar assistant.”
Virgo is ruled by Mercury, the fast paced planet of communication and exchange, an influence we will see in the fast and anxious way Poppy speaks and presents.
Virgo is tough working and long suffering, ever willing to place up with greater than they need to due to either a martyr complex or the self-sabotaging belief that they don’t deserve anything easy or comfortable.
Yet, pity the idiot that pushes them too hard or underestimates their cunning as these folks top the list of essentially the most dangerous signs within the zodiac.
Together with her direct and meticulous nature and deep desire to enhance the Arcona, Nina Lin played by Christine Ko, is a simple successor to Poppy within the Virgo territory.
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Sting (Sting)
Playing himself in season one, real life Libra and mono named tantric sex daddy Sting plays to the strengths and weaknesses of his sun sign.
Libras prefer to be liked, are averse to conflict, avowed to diplomacy and struggle with accountability, qualities we see in Sting who accelerated his plans to depart the Arcona within the wake of his fallout with Tim.
Libras just like the finer things and react badly when their comforts or assets are compromised, a fact made evident in Sting’s suggestion that Tim ‘kill himself’ after the latter mismanaged the previous’s funds.
Mabel Mora (Selena Gomez)
Scorpio is synonymous with spookiness; their season coincides with the tip of the harvest and the onset of Halloween.
The key of Mabel’s zodiac sign may be present in her color palette; our girl wears a number of black, the facility hue of Scorpio who rules the eighth house of sex, death and transformation.
Black is symbolic of the moment when all things dissolve before taking over latest form, it’s also the customary color of grief, a well-recognized feeling for Mabel.
Our prickly heroine also ceaselessly sports marigold hues; colours and flowers synonymous with The Day of the Dead and the practice of mourning.
Lucy (Zoe Colleti)
Sagittarius rules the ninth house of philosophy, expansion and better learning and along with her enviable style and Gen Z perspective, Lucy has much knowledge to bestow.
Sagittarians are noted for his or her optimism and ‘no sweat, no foul’ approach to conflict, a modality we see in Lucy who easily forgives Charles for his half decade absence from her life and quickly picks up the nice and cozy rapport.
Archers are freedom loving folk and true to form, Lucy rocks sneakers even under her formal wear to make sure she will at all times and ever make a clean and cozy getaway.
Alice Banks (Cara Delevingne)
Capricorn is the nice strategist of the zodiac. With the initiatory energy of a cardinal sign and the pragmatism of the element of earth they’re out to get theirs and construct what needs constructing by any means needed.
We see this in artist and charlatan Alice Banks, played by Cara Delevingne. Represented by the ocean goat they’re born with a desire to ascend.
At best this makes them high achieving and entrepreneurial.
At worst and so they can turn into callous social climbers, using others to their very own advantage, a trajectory made manifest in Alice; ashamed of her humble origins she feigns an aristocratic pedigree and emotionally manipulates/terrorizes Mabel for the sake of artistic inspiration.
Woof.
Charles-Haden Savage (Steve Martin)
Aquarius is fixed air, marked by a certain aloofness and an allegiance to strange habits.
We see each of those qualities in Charles, played by Steve Martin, a loner type who’s big on sad, specific breakfast behaviors.
Additional evidence may be present in the proven fact that Charles is an excellent musician and a deeply cerebral hater of hugs who admits “I’ve broken up with people for whispering loudly in movies or chewing weird.”
Will Putnam (Ryan Broussard)
Pisces folk are a deeply compassionate ilk with heightened powers of perception and a boundless capability for forgiveness. We see this psychic saintliness in Will Putnam, played by Ryan Broussard.
The sweet hearted son of hambone Oliver, Will knows the reality about his paternity but hides it from Oliver to spare his feelings and solidify his importance.
A dog saving, money lending wonder kid, Will loves his father each in spite and since of his problematic, self-important nature.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the celebs
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, popular culture and private experience. She can also be an completed author who has profiled a wide range of artists and performers, in addition to extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Amongst the various intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.
