A Reddit user who was accused of “brainwashing” her sister’s children by explaining why she opted against having kids did nothing incorrect, a family therapist told Fox News Digital.
“AITA for telling my sister’s kids the reality about why I never had children?” asked user “PutSpecial8915” in an Aug. 24 post on the “Am I the A–hole” subreddit.
Within the post, the girl said she’s 36 and has a younger sister with three kids, ages seven, five, and three.
“I’m childfree by alternative, which has all the time been a degree of contention in my family,” she wrote.
“My sister especially has been very vocal about her belief that ‘a lady’s purpose is to be a mother’ and the way I’m ‘missing out on the perfect a part of life,’” she said.
Previously, the girl said she’s ignored these comments “to maintain the peace,” but recently, her sister’s oldest child apparently asked her again why she’d chosen to not have kids.
“I attempted to provide a vague, polite answer, but they kept pressing, saying their mom told them that I might change my mind in the future because ‘everyone does,’” said PutSpecial8915.
“At this point, I made a decision it was time for the reality,” she said — and revealed to her sister’s children that she “value[d] my freedom, profession and private time.”
“I explained that while some people love being parents, others find happiness in alternative ways, and that it’s OK to not have kids if that’s what makes you glad,” she said.
“I also added that everybody’s life selections are valid so long as they’re glad and fulfilled.”
This, nevertheless, didn’t go over well together with her sister — who overheard a part of their conversation.
The sister “blew up at me, accusing me of attempting to ‘brainwash’ her kids and undermine her parenting,” the girl wrote.
“She said that I used to be selfish for planting ‘doubt’ in her children’s minds concerning the importance of family. She even accused me of ‘glamorizing’ a life-style that she feels is empty and meaningless,” said the girl in her post.
Later, PutSpecial8915’s parents called — they usually sided together with her sister’s anger over her conversation together with her children, the girl shared in her post.
“They said I should’ve just ‘humored’ the children or deflected the query, and that I owed my sister an apology for causing unnecessary drama,” she said.
Yet, “I don’t think I did anything incorrect,” said PutSpecial8915.
“I used to be honest, respectful and gave a balanced perspective. I’m bored with being made to feel like my selections are lesser or should be hidden simply to avoid conflict.”
She added, “I feel it’s necessary for youths to know that there are different paths in life, and never all of them involve having children.”
The author then asked others, “AITA for being honest with my niece and nephews about why I selected to not have kids, even when it caused a family rift?”
Fox News Digital reached out to the Reddit author for comment and updates.
A therapist told Fox News Digital that she believed PutSpecial8915 did nothing incorrect – so long as the situation unfolded as she described.
“She was asked an issue and responded truthfully,” Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founding father of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital via email.
Goldberg also said, “Simply because her family didn’t just like the answer doesn’t mean it was inappropriate.”
But, in the long run, “she might consider giving a shorter response like, ‘I’m not desirous about kids straight away,’ to maintain the peace,” she said.
“Ultimately, she has every right to be honest,” said Goldberg.
“If her sister and the remaining of the family don’t prefer it, they will select to not ask that query or be round her.”
Reddit users largely agreed with Goldberg’s sentiment.
Within the greater than 300 responses to her post, the bulk said the girl was “not the a–hole” in this example.
“NTA. Your sister has been undermining you to her kids for years in a really passive-aggressive way. For this reason, this query was certain to come back up sometime,” wrote one other Reddit user in the highest reply.
The user said that PutSpecial8915 opted to not be passive-aggressive in return, and “approached the topic head on.”
The identical person wrote, “And your sister couldn’t take it because she is afraid that if her kids are exposed to other points of view, they are going to develop opinions of their very own.”
One other user identified that there was not much that the girl could do in this example.
“What lie was [she] speculated to tell to take care of her sister’s beliefs?” asked user Okay-Cat-4975.
A Reddit user who was accused of “brainwashing” her sister’s children by explaining why she opted against having kids did nothing incorrect, a family therapist told Fox News Digital.
“AITA for telling my sister’s kids the reality about why I never had children?” asked user “PutSpecial8915” in an Aug. 24 post on the “Am I the A–hole” subreddit.
Within the post, the girl said she’s 36 and has a younger sister with three kids, ages seven, five, and three.
“I’m childfree by alternative, which has all the time been a degree of contention in my family,” she wrote.
“My sister especially has been very vocal about her belief that ‘a lady’s purpose is to be a mother’ and the way I’m ‘missing out on the perfect a part of life,’” she said.
Previously, the girl said she’s ignored these comments “to maintain the peace,” but recently, her sister’s oldest child apparently asked her again why she’d chosen to not have kids.
“I attempted to provide a vague, polite answer, but they kept pressing, saying their mom told them that I might change my mind in the future because ‘everyone does,’” said PutSpecial8915.
“At this point, I made a decision it was time for the reality,” she said — and revealed to her sister’s children that she “value[d] my freedom, profession and private time.”
“I explained that while some people love being parents, others find happiness in alternative ways, and that it’s OK to not have kids if that’s what makes you glad,” she said.
“I also added that everybody’s life selections are valid so long as they’re glad and fulfilled.”
This, nevertheless, didn’t go over well together with her sister — who overheard a part of their conversation.
The sister “blew up at me, accusing me of attempting to ‘brainwash’ her kids and undermine her parenting,” the girl wrote.
“She said that I used to be selfish for planting ‘doubt’ in her children’s minds concerning the importance of family. She even accused me of ‘glamorizing’ a life-style that she feels is empty and meaningless,” said the girl in her post.
Later, PutSpecial8915’s parents called — they usually sided together with her sister’s anger over her conversation together with her children, the girl shared in her post.
“They said I should’ve just ‘humored’ the children or deflected the query, and that I owed my sister an apology for causing unnecessary drama,” she said.
Yet, “I don’t think I did anything incorrect,” said PutSpecial8915.
“I used to be honest, respectful and gave a balanced perspective. I’m bored with being made to feel like my selections are lesser or should be hidden simply to avoid conflict.”
She added, “I feel it’s necessary for youths to know that there are different paths in life, and never all of them involve having children.”
The author then asked others, “AITA for being honest with my niece and nephews about why I selected to not have kids, even when it caused a family rift?”
Fox News Digital reached out to the Reddit author for comment and updates.
A therapist told Fox News Digital that she believed PutSpecial8915 did nothing incorrect – so long as the situation unfolded as she described.
“She was asked an issue and responded truthfully,” Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founding father of Rachel Goldberg Therapy in Los Angeles, told Fox News Digital via email.
Goldberg also said, “Simply because her family didn’t just like the answer doesn’t mean it was inappropriate.”
But, in the long run, “she might consider giving a shorter response like, ‘I’m not desirous about kids straight away,’ to maintain the peace,” she said.
“Ultimately, she has every right to be honest,” said Goldberg.
“If her sister and the remaining of the family don’t prefer it, they will select to not ask that query or be round her.”
Reddit users largely agreed with Goldberg’s sentiment.
Within the greater than 300 responses to her post, the bulk said the girl was “not the a–hole” in this example.
“NTA. Your sister has been undermining you to her kids for years in a really passive-aggressive way. For this reason, this query was certain to come back up sometime,” wrote one other Reddit user in the highest reply.
The user said that PutSpecial8915 opted to not be passive-aggressive in return, and “approached the topic head on.”
The identical person wrote, “And your sister couldn’t take it because she is afraid that if her kids are exposed to other points of view, they are going to develop opinions of their very own.”
One other user identified that there was not much that the girl could do in this example.
“What lie was [she] speculated to tell to take care of her sister’s beliefs?” asked user Okay-Cat-4975.
