Homer Simpson once declared, upon winning an award for gaining essentially the most weight since highschool, it was because he “discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.”
With that in mind, quotes, notes and anecdotes for a Sunday morning repast:
Tennis’ U.S. Open now annually jogs my memory of the Broadway show “Oliver!” Based on Charles Dickens’ 1833 novel “Oliver Twist,” it’s a couple of ragged kid forced to hustle a meal or a tuppence in an impoverished section of London.
In the event that they were to bring “Oliver!” back to Broadway today, tickets would break the bank, clearly aimed for purchase by the rich, thus the play’s theme and the entry fee could be at stark odds.
Same goes for the pricing for the U.S. Open — where a sandwich costs $23, a soda nine bucks, and tickets are attached to such obscene price tags that the box office refuses to deliver the news.
A call or email to the Open’s box office to inquire about the fee of tickets to the 2023 tournament is returned with the words, “We don’t share our pricing,” followed by, “We hope to see you on the 2023 U.S. Open!”
Huh?
While not revealing ticket prices, these communiques suggest that prospective purchasers contact Ticketmaster, infamous for marking up prices with tack-on “convenience fee” charges — with Ticketmaster’s take hidden inside a non-itemized total price, charges that provide only convenience (and profit) for the sellers, not the buyers.
As all the time, tickets to popular events carry the stench of fleecing well above face value. There may be an inescapable aroma of negotiated demand-driven pricing. The Open is allowing an out of doors entity, Ticketmaster, to determine its ticket-pricing. That just isn’t just absurd, it’s malodorous.
Yet, the Open, of late, has been steeped in social messaging about racial inclusion, gender equity and treating fellow humans with greater respect — despite increased misconduct by each players and patrons.
But it surely’s one other “Oliver!” — primarily aimed for consumption by the rich.
A song from “Oliver!” is “Food, Glorious Food.” It’s sung by a chorus of poor kids eager for a special treat — “Hot sausage and mustard.” Hot sausage and mustard on the U.S. Open? Don’t ask.
Amongst the implications of greater than 22 Yankees games this season hidden behind streaming paywalls is the renewal of the reliance on radio, last known to be prevalent within the early Sixties.
To that end, John Sterling’s road games sub, Justin Shackil, has seized this season to grow to be a reliably good surrogate for our eyes.
He’s a powerful adherent to good, old-fashioned, but significant, nuts and bolts. He describes balls and strikes and even gives the names of each teams when giving the rating on the close of half innings.
And, at 36, the Fordham grad has an applicable sense of Yankees history in addition to what’s happening across the majors.
I listened to him all of last weekend when the Yankees played on the Rays, and never once did he fail to inform me something I wanted or needed to know.
No higher ideas, continued:
As a Jets wide receiver from 1996-99, Keyshawn Johnson was an all-about-me braggart who was so self-absorbed that he belittled the overachievements of 5-foot-9 teammate and fellow receiver Wayne Chrebet. Johnson made himself difficult to indulge.
In fact, that made him, after he retired in 2007, a must-hire for ESPN — which sustained him despite his reliance on making unsupportable, attention-hogging noise. Finally, ESPN found him to be what viewers way back knew: expendable.
Now, as one other matter in fact, he has landed on the Fox Sports 1 show “Undisputed” as a semi-regular with host Skip Bayless — a master of inconsequential, time-killing debate. Johnson provides another excuse to skip Bayless in favor of whatever else could be on, including magic elixirs that grow hair and eliminate facial wrinkles.
Robert Griffin III is the double-standard antithesis of Doug Adler. Griffin’s ESPN employment was sustained though he spoke, on air, an unmistakably vile slur for blacks; Adler was fired over a fabricated claim of on-air racism.
Griffin recently checked in on the 49ers’ decision to trade QB Trey Lance, the third-overall pick within the 2021 draft, to Dallas for a fourth-round pick.
Via social media, Griffin wrote: “It’s official. The 49ers decision to present up three first-round picks to maneuver up and draft Trey Lance is THE WORST DRAFT DAY MOVE OF ALL TIME.”
Interesting. Griffin, the 2012 Heisman winner, began two years at QB for Washington before flaming out and being released in 2015. He became a four-year backup, first with Cleveland then Baltimore.
Griffin was the second-overall pick within the 2012 draft. Perhaps it takes one to know one.
Funny, I saw Harrison Bader as among the many least of the Yankees’ self-inflicted troubles.
All these college basketball and football “graduate transfers,” and still not once has anyone on any telecast identified the course of study by which they’re pursuing their masters or doctorate. Don’t they should enroll for something apart from completing their eligibility in a sport, something to do with college as in student-athlete? Just one other con, I suppose.
HBO has eliminated the position held, for nearly 25 years, by Patrick Byrne, a willing and able director of sports and other media relations. Thanks on your help, Patrick.
What’s in your wallet? Update: The teams that opened the season with the three largest payrolls — so as, the Mets, Yankees and Padres — were, as of Friday, 188-215. All rank in the underside third of MLB in batting average.
Juan Soto, who signed with San Diego for a guaranteed $23 million only for this yr, has struck out 114 times in 471 at-bats — 25 percent. Matt Carpenter, signed on the low cost — $6.3 million per to be the Padres’ DH — is batting .174, striking out in 35 percent of his ABs.
But for about $300, the Padres, who raised ticket prices for the third straight season, will sell you two good tickets to look at very bad baseball.
Dior Johnson, a basketball star from Saugerties, N.Y., who was recruited to Pittsburgh after enrolling in 10 high schools in six states (Recent York, Florida, Nevada, Virginia, Arizona, California) then committed to Syracuse, then to Oregon, is not any longer at Pitt. Last yr, he was charged with aggravated assault against a Pittsburgh woman. In other words, he’s available.
No Mets or Yankees game on Labor Day, one in all the last days before many start school. Typical MLB “marketing” under Rob “Paywall” Manfred, for whom team owners recently voted a contract extension through 2028.
Pro athletes are remarkable as they proceed to suffer from “flu-like symptoms” but never the flu. Ever hear a health care provider say you’ve “bad back-like symptoms” or “headache-like symptoms”?
Once I grow up, I wanna be an ACC college president. They now have the flexibility and power to vote on shifting major universities — Stanford and Cal — from the West Coast to the East Coast.
