Madonna showed as much as the Grammys on Sunday night looking like she was one Restylane injection away from becoming Marilyn Manson.
Her cheeks were puffy, her lips were as inflated because the Chinese balloon and her lashes were cartoonishly long.
Then things got even weirder.
The 64-year-old blasted anyone with 20/20 vision who commented on her altered face as an alternative of her speech.
She blamed a “long lens camera” that will “distort anyone’s face.”
Sure, there may be some distortion at play here, however it’s on her part. Her shocking appearance suggests she has some type of body dysmorphia.
And her words suggest she has a similarly skewed view of society — and reality.
“Once more I’m caught within the glare of ageism and misogyny that permeates the world we live in,” she wrote on Instagram.
“A world that refuses to have a good time women pass [sic] the age of 45 And feels the necessity to punish her If she continues to be strong-willed, hard-working, and adventurous.”
If she took the DeLorean back to 1983, 1993 and even 2003, there’d be some truth to this proclamation. But she couldn’t have picked a worse time than 2023 to take this self-serving stand.
Never have female performers, middle-aged or older, been more celebrated with accolades, work and visibility.
Currently, Angela Bassett and Jamie Lee Curtis, each 64, Michelle Yeoh, 60, and Cate Blanchett, 53, are all nominated for Academy Awards. Actresses comparable to Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez are each as relevant as ever at 53.
The hilarious “Hacks” star Jean Smart, 71, has been having fun with a rip-roaring revival that included back-to-back Golden Globe nominations and one win. And the delightful 61-year-old Jennifer Coolidge also picked up back-to-back Golden Globe nominations and a win for her turn in “The White Lotus.”
In theaters you’ll find “80 for Brady” — a big-screen celebration of tolerating female friendship. The comedy features Rita Moreno, 91, Jane Fonda, 85, Lily Tomlin, 83, and Sally Field, 76 — 4 women who’re many years past receiving their first AARP card.
And on the Grammys, Bonnie Raitt, 73, beat out Beyoncé for “Song of the Yr.”
They’re making headlines for his or her body of labor, not the work that they had on their body. Sure, they might have had some nips, tucks, tweaks and weekly laser facials. But they’ve grown older with relative grace, mostly embracing some flaws and a few wrinkles.
Madonna, whom I once adored for bucking traditional beauty standards, is a serial and expert chameleon. She’s gone blonde, she’s gone brunette and, during her Guy Ritchie marriage, she went rogue and have become a horseback-riding English rose. But in her pursuit of youth, which reportedly includes wanting to seem like her early 2000s self, she had never aimed for cartoonish. Until now.
“I actually have been degraded by the media because the starting of my profession but I understand that that is all a test and I’m joyful to do the trailblazing so that each one the ladies behind me can have a better time within the years to return,” she said.
If the trail she’s blazing results in the plastic surgeon completely renovating your face, then I’ll happily take the choice route.
Or possibly she could possibly be just like the late, great Joan Rivers, who loved cosmetic surgery — but self-awareness much more.
“I’ve had a lot cosmetic surgery, once I die they may donate my body to Tupperware,” she once cracked.
There’s a conversation available in regards to the many “isms” that plague women and elude men.
But don’t expect an honest audit to occur with Madonna or her reverse funhouse mirror within the room. Her brand of feminism is just narcissism wrapped in plastic.
