It’s not that easy being seen.
Together with his perfect physique, luxury cars and booming OnlyFans business, 21-year-old CJ Clark would seem to have the life that almost all only dream of. As an alternative, the young adult model is spending his days alone inside his luxe San Diego pad with a sex doll and a camera setup.
Clark got raw about his shockingly lonely existence in a recent interview with GQ magazine.
“Living alone in a giant home is super lonely. The larger the home, the lonelier you get,” said Clark, who spends most of his time exercising, watching TV or chatting with other OnlyFans users.
The multimillionaire adult model joined the X-rated website when he was 18, and was a virtually fast success, earning $5,000 in his first 24 hours.
Now, he’s in the highest 0.06% of earners on the platform. “It went from feeling like I never had any attention in my life to love, holy s**t — 10,000 people were seeing me be myself.”
Despite his growing fan base, Clark told GQ he struggles to attach with people in real life, a pattern that began in childhood. As a student, he was diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD, and has also been tested for autism.
His difficulty in class led him to hunt solace on the web — during puberty as his teenage hormones began raging. By age 12, he had change into a “gargantuan porn addict,” he told the magazine.
Meanwhile, he forged for himself a community on TikTok with hundreds of thousands of followers, a lot of whom urged him to hitch OnlyFans as soon as he could legally achieve this.
Recent research has shown that Americans are spending 10% more time at home than they were 20 years ago, and that’s very true of Generation Z, who drink less alcohol and have less sex than previous generations at their age.
Fairly than seek community outside, Clark said he’s communicating with fans across the clock.
“I receives a commission a lot f—king money to do OnlyFans — I’d as well do it to the most effective of my ability,” he said of communicating together with his fans. “Talking to my people, learning what they wanna see more of, what they like, what they don’t like, so I will be higher at my job.”
The self-proclaimed “gay porn MrBeast” said he keeps his content solo — except for the 150-pound sex doll — to keep up a picture that he’s there solely for his subscribers. But he’s also not fascinated about sex with one other person where there’s no connection.
“I don’t go to bed like, ‘Ugh, I wish I could’ve fucked someone today,” he told me. “It’s more like, Rattling, a hug could be nice’.”
His busy content creation schedule doesn’t leave him much time for a love life, anyway. The one girlfriend he’s ever had was long-distance, he admitted, preferring to succeed in out to fellow OnlyFans creators who can relate to his unique lifestyle — even in the event that they’re fake. “I do know behind my head that I’m talking to some middle-aged man,” Clark bemoaned.
His surreal life took a scary turn when the overworked and undersocialized Clark watched the mind-bending movie by Richard Linklater, “The Waking Life,” which ponders a series of philosophical queries. The experience sent Clark into an acute existential crisis.
He believed that he’d died and was living in a fantasy constructed in his head. “What if my brain compensated for dying at a young age by giving me every part I ever wanted?” CJ thought. “And now my body is catching up. And I just went into this space of, ‘Nothing is real. It’s so bullshit. None of it’s fucking real. Like, How the fuck did I get here?‘”
Clark sought therapy after this psychotic break and considering enrolling in class again as he fears his line of labor may change into obsolete as artificial intelligence replaces porn stars.
“I’m actually glad about it,” he said of the foreboding outlook. “Because I feel that society as a complete would probably profit substantially just from, like, less people being on their phones.”
