DEAR ABBY: Several months ago, I let the 49-year-old son of an expensive friend move into my basement. “Jason” pays me rent plus utilities.
Last week, he informed me that he just isn’t vaccinated for COVID. He was drinking on the time. Since my husband passed away with COVID in his system two years ago, I told Jason he would wish to get vaccinated or find one other place to live, but now I’m unsure he remembers the conversation.
How should I handle this? I don’t wish to alienate his mother (or him, whom I really like like a son) over this? — HEALTH-CONSCIOUS IN COLORADO
DEAR HEALTH-CONSCIOUS: Ask Jason if he remembers the conversation you had wherein he mentioned that he has not been vaccinated for COVID. If he doesn’t recall having made the statement, remind him. Then tell him that when your husband passed, he had COVID in his system, that you just don’t need to risk being exposed to COVID and that if he wishes to proceed living with you, he can have to remain current on his vaccines. This needn’t be a confrontation in the event you approach the topic calmly.
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I broke up after six years. Each of us have children from marriages that ended seven years ago. We reached a degree a 12 months and a half ago and began in search of a house together. After realizing we couldn’t afford what she wanted in a house for our blended family, our relationship became strained. The last 12 months has been our worst.
As she suffered through job loss and other outside forces affecting her mental health, I attempted to supply her more support, but she felt suffocated. I’m sometimes too intense trying to search out solutions, even when she says she needs space. I even have not kept up my end of giving her space.
We have now had the very best connection of our lives, so seeing her in pain has me distraught. She says she isn’t able to offer what I want in our relationship, while I even have strived to be a great teammate in her times of need. Now she says she is finished because I didn’t give her space.
She is the love of my life. What do I do during this crushing and devastating time of my life? — DAZED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR DAZED: I’m sorry things didn’t end up higher for you. You and your girlfriend have very different communication styles. She desired to vent and be heard. You felt compelled to search out solutions to her problems. When someone says they “need space,” it often means the person feels pushed or smothered. It could actually also mean they wish to dial back the connection or can have met another person.
Without delay, the next move must be an enormous one backward. Increase your exercise schedule, spend time with friends and don’t sit around alone and brooding over something you may’t change. IF the 2 of you manage to get together again, I urge you to get into couples counseling so this sort of heartbreak doesn’t occur again.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: Several months ago, I let the 49-year-old son of an expensive friend move into my basement. “Jason” pays me rent plus utilities.
Last week, he informed me that he just isn’t vaccinated for COVID. He was drinking on the time. Since my husband passed away with COVID in his system two years ago, I told Jason he would wish to get vaccinated or find one other place to live, but now I’m unsure he remembers the conversation.
How should I handle this? I don’t wish to alienate his mother (or him, whom I really like like a son) over this? — HEALTH-CONSCIOUS IN COLORADO
DEAR HEALTH-CONSCIOUS: Ask Jason if he remembers the conversation you had wherein he mentioned that he has not been vaccinated for COVID. If he doesn’t recall having made the statement, remind him. Then tell him that when your husband passed, he had COVID in his system, that you just don’t need to risk being exposed to COVID and that if he wishes to proceed living with you, he can have to remain current on his vaccines. This needn’t be a confrontation in the event you approach the topic calmly.
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I broke up after six years. Each of us have children from marriages that ended seven years ago. We reached a degree a 12 months and a half ago and began in search of a house together. After realizing we couldn’t afford what she wanted in a house for our blended family, our relationship became strained. The last 12 months has been our worst.
As she suffered through job loss and other outside forces affecting her mental health, I attempted to supply her more support, but she felt suffocated. I’m sometimes too intense trying to search out solutions, even when she says she needs space. I even have not kept up my end of giving her space.
We have now had the very best connection of our lives, so seeing her in pain has me distraught. She says she isn’t able to offer what I want in our relationship, while I even have strived to be a great teammate in her times of need. Now she says she is finished because I didn’t give her space.
She is the love of my life. What do I do during this crushing and devastating time of my life? — DAZED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR DAZED: I’m sorry things didn’t end up higher for you. You and your girlfriend have very different communication styles. She desired to vent and be heard. You felt compelled to search out solutions to her problems. When someone says they “need space,” it often means the person feels pushed or smothered. It could actually also mean they wish to dial back the connection or can have met another person.
Without delay, the next move must be an enormous one backward. Increase your exercise schedule, spend time with friends and don’t sit around alone and brooding over something you may’t change. IF the 2 of you manage to get together again, I urge you to get into couples counseling so this sort of heartbreak doesn’t occur again.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
