DEAR ABBY: We’ve grown children and a grandchild who live several states away. The issue is, we don’t enjoy visiting them. Our son’s wife has an eating disorder. She’s obsessive about what SHE goes to eat next, eats a number of the strangest raw vegetable combos we’ve ever heard of and has our grandchild following suit. The kid is forbidden to eat several of the foods kids prefer to eat.
Our son can be a part of this. He’s shedding weight and muscle mass, and thinks he’s healthy. Once we visit, and it’s been years, we have now to buy numerous food or take everyone out to eat so WE can eat, which presents challenges due to their food plan preferences.
My DIL shouldn’t be a gracious host and lingers over her plate, which sometimes takes an hour after everyone else has finished eating. She’s very underweight, and I’m concerned about our grandchild, especially since they balked at an exquisite roasted turkey I made at a family gathering. (Two days later, she asked for “seconds” because others were eating it.)
How can we visit and stick with them under these circumstances? I actually miss my son and grandchild through the holidays, but I can’t get my husband on board because he’s so outraged concerning the bizarreness of the situation. Having a heart-to-heart with our son would definitely put him on the defense. — WASTING TOGETHER TIME
DEAR WASTING: You aren’t going to alter your son or his wife, so the choice is to just accept them for who they’re — which could also be vegan or vegetarian. If you happen to resolve to go to them, be prepared to remain in accommodations apart from their home. Take food out of the equation and eat at your hotel or rental. If you happen to resolve to host any meals, do it at a restaurant of their selecting. and tell your husband to curb his temper. Try it next time and your visit may prove higher.
DEAR ABBY: I’m not exaggerating — my friend ALWAYS must be primary and first. She offered to assist our queen mother within the Red Hat Society hide eggs last Easter, then went to collect all of them herself. She also gets mad when she doesn’t win a fancy dress contest on the senior center and hates when another person wins a raffle.
I won’t go into the whole lot, but she MUST win at the whole lot and be the focal point. In the course of the last Easter egg hunt, I attempted to tug her away from the door so she couldn’t see, but she eventually snuck through and won the egg hunt. I don’t understand her behavior. What can I do? — EMBARRASSED IN TEXAS
DEAR EMBARRASSED: Your friend appears to have an insatiable need for attention and a willingness to cheat to attain her goal. Nothing you may do will change her. She is who she is. What you can do, to be able to lower your level of frustration, is refuse to have interaction together with her at Easter, Halloween or any activity during which you already know she won’t play fair.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: We’ve grown children and a grandchild who live several states away. The issue is, we don’t enjoy visiting them. Our son’s wife has an eating disorder. She’s obsessive about what SHE goes to eat next, eats a number of the strangest raw vegetable combos we’ve ever heard of and has our grandchild following suit. The kid is forbidden to eat several of the foods kids prefer to eat.
Our son can be a part of this. He’s shedding weight and muscle mass, and thinks he’s healthy. Once we visit, and it’s been years, we have now to buy numerous food or take everyone out to eat so WE can eat, which presents challenges due to their food plan preferences.
My DIL shouldn’t be a gracious host and lingers over her plate, which sometimes takes an hour after everyone else has finished eating. She’s very underweight, and I’m concerned about our grandchild, especially since they balked at an exquisite roasted turkey I made at a family gathering. (Two days later, she asked for “seconds” because others were eating it.)
How can we visit and stick with them under these circumstances? I actually miss my son and grandchild through the holidays, but I can’t get my husband on board because he’s so outraged concerning the bizarreness of the situation. Having a heart-to-heart with our son would definitely put him on the defense. — WASTING TOGETHER TIME
DEAR WASTING: You aren’t going to alter your son or his wife, so the choice is to just accept them for who they’re — which could also be vegan or vegetarian. If you happen to resolve to go to them, be prepared to remain in accommodations apart from their home. Take food out of the equation and eat at your hotel or rental. If you happen to resolve to host any meals, do it at a restaurant of their selecting. and tell your husband to curb his temper. Try it next time and your visit may prove higher.
DEAR ABBY: I’m not exaggerating — my friend ALWAYS must be primary and first. She offered to assist our queen mother within the Red Hat Society hide eggs last Easter, then went to collect all of them herself. She also gets mad when she doesn’t win a fancy dress contest on the senior center and hates when another person wins a raffle.
I won’t go into the whole lot, but she MUST win at the whole lot and be the focal point. In the course of the last Easter egg hunt, I attempted to tug her away from the door so she couldn’t see, but she eventually snuck through and won the egg hunt. I don’t understand her behavior. What can I do? — EMBARRASSED IN TEXAS
DEAR EMBARRASSED: Your friend appears to have an insatiable need for attention and a willingness to cheat to attain her goal. Nothing you may do will change her. She is who she is. What you can do, to be able to lower your level of frustration, is refuse to have interaction together with her at Easter, Halloween or any activity during which you already know she won’t play fair.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
