DEAR ABBY: I actually have hard feelings for my oldest son. Just a few years back, I used to be diagnosed with cancer and needed radiation treatments. The hospital is in my son’s hometown, so I asked him if I could sit of their front room between my two treatments a day for six days. He said he would check with his wife about it.
I attempted to call him the day before my treatments began, but he wouldn’t answer his phone. I had to take a seat in my automotive within the cold of winter for six hours between treatments.
I can’t appear to get past this. I don’t bring it as much as him, but I resent him and his wife for letting me down in my time of need. How can I recover from this and let the resentment go? — SAD IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR SAD: Are you and your son and daughter-in-law communicating now? Have they ever explained why they acted the best way they did? Did you and your daughter-in-law have some sort of falling out before your diagnosis?
That you simply were left sitting in a automotive between cancer treatments on a chilly winter days seems unconscionable. That you furthermore may “can’t recover from it” seems rational to me. This will likely be something you must talk to your religious adviser, if you’ve got one. Do you have to need medical assistance in the long run, I hope you’ve got found other resources, because in the event you reach out in your son’s direction, all you must expect is more silence.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 24 and never where I would like to be in life. I actually have goals and dreams I would love to perform. Nevertheless, my family is super family-oriented. I work for my dad in a family business. He at all times talks business with me.
I don’t want to enter the family business. I actually have my reasons, one being his side of the family works there and we don’t get along. They’ve never accepted my mom so, subsequently, they don’t accept me. The opposite reason is I’m not focused on the business.
My problem is, that is the very best I’ve ever gotten together with my dad. I’m fearful he’ll want nothing to do with me if I quit. Then again, my mom has at all times been supportive. I worry that if I moved away, we wouldn’t be so close. I just feel like if I am going after my goals and dreams, it would smash my relationship with my family. What do you think that? — EYE ON THE FUTURE
DEAR EYE ON: You are not any longer a baby. You’re an adult who’s overdue for a serious talk along with your father about those goals and dreams of yours, in addition to the treatment you’ve got received from his side of the family. Write your thoughts down before approaching the topic with him. In case your father loves you, as I’m sure he does, he’ll want you to be joyful in addition to successful.
When you can’t find the courage to approach this on your individual, consider enlisting the assistance of a licensed mental health skilled to allow you to create some emotional separation. Wanting independence just isn’t a rejection of your father, nor would gaining it guarantee you’d not be as near your mom.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have hard feelings for my oldest son. Just a few years back, I used to be diagnosed with cancer and needed radiation treatments. The hospital is in my son’s hometown, so I asked him if I could sit of their front room between my two treatments a day for six days. He said he would check with his wife about it.
I attempted to call him the day before my treatments began, but he wouldn’t answer his phone. I had to take a seat in my automotive within the cold of winter for six hours between treatments.
I can’t appear to get past this. I don’t bring it as much as him, but I resent him and his wife for letting me down in my time of need. How can I recover from this and let the resentment go? — SAD IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR SAD: Are you and your son and daughter-in-law communicating now? Have they ever explained why they acted the best way they did? Did you and your daughter-in-law have some sort of falling out before your diagnosis?
That you simply were left sitting in a automotive between cancer treatments on a chilly winter days seems unconscionable. That you furthermore may “can’t recover from it” seems rational to me. This will likely be something you must talk to your religious adviser, if you’ve got one. Do you have to need medical assistance in the long run, I hope you’ve got found other resources, because in the event you reach out in your son’s direction, all you must expect is more silence.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 24 and never where I would like to be in life. I actually have goals and dreams I would love to perform. Nevertheless, my family is super family-oriented. I work for my dad in a family business. He at all times talks business with me.
I don’t want to enter the family business. I actually have my reasons, one being his side of the family works there and we don’t get along. They’ve never accepted my mom so, subsequently, they don’t accept me. The opposite reason is I’m not focused on the business.
My problem is, that is the very best I’ve ever gotten together with my dad. I’m fearful he’ll want nothing to do with me if I quit. Then again, my mom has at all times been supportive. I worry that if I moved away, we wouldn’t be so close. I just feel like if I am going after my goals and dreams, it would smash my relationship with my family. What do you think that? — EYE ON THE FUTURE
DEAR EYE ON: You are not any longer a baby. You’re an adult who’s overdue for a serious talk along with your father about those goals and dreams of yours, in addition to the treatment you’ve got received from his side of the family. Write your thoughts down before approaching the topic with him. In case your father loves you, as I’m sure he does, he’ll want you to be joyful in addition to successful.
When you can’t find the courage to approach this on your individual, consider enlisting the assistance of a licensed mental health skilled to allow you to create some emotional separation. Wanting independence just isn’t a rejection of your father, nor would gaining it guarantee you’d not be as near your mom.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
