DEAR ABBY: I live five hours away from my hometown. My mom is 98 and in assisted living there. Lately, my younger sister has change into cruel to our mom and is attempting to reap the benefits of her.
As a substitute of helping Mom, she does things to deliberately upset her and lift her blood pressure. Two examples: putting dog poop on my recently deceased brother’s grave and stealing a gun from Mom’s home. She also threatened to remove Mom’s recliner from her while she was sitting in it. My sister has caused major issues on the assisted living facility, which greatly upsets my poor mother, since she loves the care she gets there.
My older brother and I even have met with an attorney to get an order of no-trespass, no-contact at Mom’s facility. It’s still in the method. My sister puts on a very different mask at her church and has everyone believing she’s a victim. What do you suggest we do in the longer term with this out-of-control, stuffed with hate sibling? — ASHAMED SIS IN ONTARIO, CANADA
DEAR SIS: The term for what your sister has been doing is elder abuse. Stealing and threatening to do something that may cause great bodily harm qualifies. Proceed working with the attorney on the no-contact order and let the method play out. Your mother’s doctors needs to be told what has been happening. What the worshippers in her church take into consideration her needs to be of no consequence.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 55 and have been married for 15 years. I even have two kids, ages 22 and 25. Each are on their very own, living their very own lives. My wife is 45. She has a 25-year-old son who has a four-year degree in computer science and claims he can’t discover a job. He refuses to search for other employment to fill in until something opens up in computers. He stays up half the night getting high and playing games online, and sleeps until noon. He has a substantial amount in his savings and is capable of play the stock market, so it’s not like he’s broke and might’t start living on his own.
My wife won’t let go because he’s her only child. She and I even have no alone time, no romantic nights and no dinners without him included. He’s at all times here and involved in all the things, and I’m uninterested in it. I even have reached some extent in my life where I need to enjoy my time with my wife alone.
We’re purchasing for a brand new house, but I’m able to say we buy a house together alone, just the 2 of us, or I’m filing for divorce and buying a house by myself. I feel it’s well past time for him to be weaned from his mother and get his own life. Do you agree or am I being overly sensitive? — OVER IT IN ARIZONA
DEAR OVER IT: You usually are not being overly sensitive. Your wife appears to have a serious case of separation anxiety in terms of her son, which is healthy for neither. I assume you will have discussed this together with her to no avail. If that’s not true, you must. If it IS true, then it’s time for marriage and family therapy with someone who’s licensed. In case your wife refuses to go, the choice could be to schedule an appointment with an attorney who can allow you to “untie the knot.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I live five hours away from my hometown. My mom is 98 and in assisted living there. Lately, my younger sister has change into cruel to our mom and is attempting to reap the benefits of her.
As a substitute of helping Mom, she does things to deliberately upset her and lift her blood pressure. Two examples: putting dog poop on my recently deceased brother’s grave and stealing a gun from Mom’s home. She also threatened to remove Mom’s recliner from her while she was sitting in it. My sister has caused major issues on the assisted living facility, which greatly upsets my poor mother, since she loves the care she gets there.
My older brother and I even have met with an attorney to get an order of no-trespass, no-contact at Mom’s facility. It’s still in the method. My sister puts on a very different mask at her church and has everyone believing she’s a victim. What do you suggest we do in the longer term with this out-of-control, stuffed with hate sibling? — ASHAMED SIS IN ONTARIO, CANADA
DEAR SIS: The term for what your sister has been doing is elder abuse. Stealing and threatening to do something that may cause great bodily harm qualifies. Proceed working with the attorney on the no-contact order and let the method play out. Your mother’s doctors needs to be told what has been happening. What the worshippers in her church take into consideration her needs to be of no consequence.
DEAR ABBY: I’m 55 and have been married for 15 years. I even have two kids, ages 22 and 25. Each are on their very own, living their very own lives. My wife is 45. She has a 25-year-old son who has a four-year degree in computer science and claims he can’t discover a job. He refuses to search for other employment to fill in until something opens up in computers. He stays up half the night getting high and playing games online, and sleeps until noon. He has a substantial amount in his savings and is capable of play the stock market, so it’s not like he’s broke and might’t start living on his own.
My wife won’t let go because he’s her only child. She and I even have no alone time, no romantic nights and no dinners without him included. He’s at all times here and involved in all the things, and I’m uninterested in it. I even have reached some extent in my life where I need to enjoy my time with my wife alone.
We’re purchasing for a brand new house, but I’m able to say we buy a house together alone, just the 2 of us, or I’m filing for divorce and buying a house by myself. I feel it’s well past time for him to be weaned from his mother and get his own life. Do you agree or am I being overly sensitive? — OVER IT IN ARIZONA
DEAR OVER IT: You usually are not being overly sensitive. Your wife appears to have a serious case of separation anxiety in terms of her son, which is healthy for neither. I assume you will have discussed this together with her to no avail. If that’s not true, you must. If it IS true, then it’s time for marriage and family therapy with someone who’s licensed. In case your wife refuses to go, the choice could be to schedule an appointment with an attorney who can allow you to “untie the knot.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
