DEAR ABBY: My mother is toxic. She had a terrible childhood, and she or he takes it out on me and my younger siblings. I live far-off; they live in the identical town as she does. In the event that they don’t drop all the pieces for her and do what she wants, she calls them selfish.
Because I had to go away town to get my life together, I’m accused of “abandoning” her. I’m called selfish and in addition accused of not loving her. A few months ago, all of us blocked her on social media because she berates us consistently. We told her to get a therapist.
Today, my sister sent me screenshots of Mom berating her again on Facebook. Within the texts my sister sent, Mom said she got a psychotherapist who says we’re all psychotic.
Abby, why wouldn’t the therapist see how delusional and toxic my mother is? Why would a therapist feed her delusions? Where will we go from here? Must I block my mom ceaselessly and never discuss with her again because her therapist won’t help her? — INCREDULOUS IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR INCREDULOUS: Your mother can have been lower than truthful about seeing a therapist. I doubt she has found a licensed mental health skilled who would diagnose you and your siblings as affected by psychosis without having met you. Perhaps the sister who shared the screenshots can inform you what that mental health skilled’s name is so you possibly can check their credentials.
You left town since you properly decided to enhance your mental health. If it’s essential to block your mother and never communicate together with her, don’t feel guilty for shielding yourself.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been married for twenty-four years. We make a very good living. I earn considerably greater than my husband. From the start, he has asked me to separate all the pieces with him. (He’s not the “provider” type.) He views me as a roommate, financially speaking. He was used to having his parents bail him out of economic situations.
I’m uninterested in being the provider. I pay half the mortgage and much more on other expenses. I also do all of the cleansing, laundry, cooking and dishes, and I’ve been picking up after him for twenty-four years. I actually have a full-time, highly stressful job and are available home from work with chores to do. He works from home and takes naps and siestas throughout the afternoon.
He brings nothing to the wedding beyond paying his half of the bills. I’m now not physically interested in him. You may’t blame me. Most ladies will not be interested in men who cannot provide. We now have one child. I can’t breathe and would slightly die young than get older on this hopeless, depressing arrangement. I just need validation that I shouldn’t be putting up with this. — PROVIDER IN THE WEST
DEAR PROVIDER: I don’t know the way many other women would tolerate the form of marriage you have got described, but many do. You might be entitled to your feelings, but before doing anything rash, it’s essential that you just discuss this with an attorney who focuses on family law. Based on the law in the neighborhood property golden state of California, your husband could wind up with half of your hard-earned assets.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My mother is toxic. She had a terrible childhood, and she or he takes it out on me and my younger siblings. I live far-off; they live in the identical town as she does. In the event that they don’t drop all the pieces for her and do what she wants, she calls them selfish.
Because I had to go away town to get my life together, I’m accused of “abandoning” her. I’m called selfish and in addition accused of not loving her. A few months ago, all of us blocked her on social media because she berates us consistently. We told her to get a therapist.
Today, my sister sent me screenshots of Mom berating her again on Facebook. Within the texts my sister sent, Mom said she got a psychotherapist who says we’re all psychotic.
Abby, why wouldn’t the therapist see how delusional and toxic my mother is? Why would a therapist feed her delusions? Where will we go from here? Must I block my mom ceaselessly and never discuss with her again because her therapist won’t help her? — INCREDULOUS IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR INCREDULOUS: Your mother can have been lower than truthful about seeing a therapist. I doubt she has found a licensed mental health skilled who would diagnose you and your siblings as affected by psychosis without having met you. Perhaps the sister who shared the screenshots can inform you what that mental health skilled’s name is so you possibly can check their credentials.
You left town since you properly decided to enhance your mental health. If it’s essential to block your mother and never communicate together with her, don’t feel guilty for shielding yourself.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been married for twenty-four years. We make a very good living. I earn considerably greater than my husband. From the start, he has asked me to separate all the pieces with him. (He’s not the “provider” type.) He views me as a roommate, financially speaking. He was used to having his parents bail him out of economic situations.
I’m uninterested in being the provider. I pay half the mortgage and much more on other expenses. I also do all of the cleansing, laundry, cooking and dishes, and I’ve been picking up after him for twenty-four years. I actually have a full-time, highly stressful job and are available home from work with chores to do. He works from home and takes naps and siestas throughout the afternoon.
He brings nothing to the wedding beyond paying his half of the bills. I’m now not physically interested in him. You may’t blame me. Most ladies will not be interested in men who cannot provide. We now have one child. I can’t breathe and would slightly die young than get older on this hopeless, depressing arrangement. I just need validation that I shouldn’t be putting up with this. — PROVIDER IN THE WEST
DEAR PROVIDER: I don’t know the way many other women would tolerate the form of marriage you have got described, but many do. You might be entitled to your feelings, but before doing anything rash, it’s essential that you just discuss this with an attorney who focuses on family law. Based on the law in the neighborhood property golden state of California, your husband could wind up with half of your hard-earned assets.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
