DEAR ABBY: My husband and I actually have been together for six years. Until about 18 months ago, my mother-in-law and I got along swimmingly. Unfortunately, that relationship has change into troubled. The cause is her deep involvement together with her church, indoctrinating our toddler together with her religious beliefs and, finally, (paradoxically) her deep physical attraction to her priest. She believes this last topic is suitable to confide to me. Unnecessary to say, it has made me very uncomfortable, and I actually have begun avoiding her.
That is difficult because she and my father-in-law live within the downstairs apartment of our home. My husband, thankfully, understands my position. We each have spoken to his mother several times, to no avail. I’ve reached the tip of my rope, and I’m asking for any advice you will have as to how you can handle this awkward situation. — ROUGH WATERS IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR ROUGH WATERS: Because you may’t change your mother-in-law, essentially the most direct solution to handle this may be to inform her that her confidences have made you uncomfortable, and also you don’t wish to hear one other word about her physical attraction to the cleric. I assume your father-in-law is aware of all this? If not, she should inform him.
I’ll further assume that because your in-laws are family, you don’t plan to ask them to maneuver. Putting an end to her attempts to indoctrinate your toddler is as easy as hiring a babysitter.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been married to my husband for 23 years. We’re each originally from Europe. He hasn’t seen his brother in 25 years, so we’re planning to go on vacation near where his brother is currently living together with his girlfriend. My husband pays for them, as they will’t afford a visit, and so they’ll be staying with us for 2 or three days.
My dilemma: My husband expects us ALL to share a two-bedroom hotel suite. Abby, I have no idea these people. I’m anxious about sharing a set with people I actually have never met and with whom I don’t share a typical language.
I actually have expressed my unease to my husband and asked if we could have two separate hotel rooms. He was very upset at my suggestion and said it can cost him more to rearrange two rooms. He now desires to cancel the trip attributable to my “selfishness.” Am I being unreasonable? — NERVOUS IN NEW YORK
DEAR NERVOUS: Because your husband feels he cannot afford to pay for completely separate accommodations, tell him you’ll comply with his plan with certain ground rules in place. First, he must translate for you any conversations he has together with his brother and the girlfriend through which you’re present. (That is time-consuming, exertions!) Second, you will probably be free to take excursions on your personal should you wish, so that you aren’t trapped your complete time listening to conversations which might be Greek to you.
Give it a try, and you might be pleasantly surprised to search out you want your brother-in-law and his female friend. If it seems you don’t, you shouldn’t have to go along in your husband’s next visit, which can not occur for an additional quarter of a century.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I actually have been together for six years. Until about 18 months ago, my mother-in-law and I got along swimmingly. Unfortunately, that relationship has change into troubled. The cause is her deep involvement together with her church, indoctrinating our toddler together with her religious beliefs and, finally, (paradoxically) her deep physical attraction to her priest. She believes this last topic is suitable to confide to me. Unnecessary to say, it has made me very uncomfortable, and I actually have begun avoiding her.
That is difficult because she and my father-in-law live within the downstairs apartment of our home. My husband, thankfully, understands my position. We each have spoken to his mother several times, to no avail. I’ve reached the tip of my rope, and I’m asking for any advice you will have as to how you can handle this awkward situation. — ROUGH WATERS IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR ROUGH WATERS: Because you may’t change your mother-in-law, essentially the most direct solution to handle this may be to inform her that her confidences have made you uncomfortable, and also you don’t wish to hear one other word about her physical attraction to the cleric. I assume your father-in-law is aware of all this? If not, she should inform him.
I’ll further assume that because your in-laws are family, you don’t plan to ask them to maneuver. Putting an end to her attempts to indoctrinate your toddler is as easy as hiring a babysitter.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been married to my husband for 23 years. We’re each originally from Europe. He hasn’t seen his brother in 25 years, so we’re planning to go on vacation near where his brother is currently living together with his girlfriend. My husband pays for them, as they will’t afford a visit, and so they’ll be staying with us for 2 or three days.
My dilemma: My husband expects us ALL to share a two-bedroom hotel suite. Abby, I have no idea these people. I’m anxious about sharing a set with people I actually have never met and with whom I don’t share a typical language.
I actually have expressed my unease to my husband and asked if we could have two separate hotel rooms. He was very upset at my suggestion and said it can cost him more to rearrange two rooms. He now desires to cancel the trip attributable to my “selfishness.” Am I being unreasonable? — NERVOUS IN NEW YORK
DEAR NERVOUS: Because your husband feels he cannot afford to pay for completely separate accommodations, tell him you’ll comply with his plan with certain ground rules in place. First, he must translate for you any conversations he has together with his brother and the girlfriend through which you’re present. (That is time-consuming, exertions!) Second, you will probably be free to take excursions on your personal should you wish, so that you aren’t trapped your complete time listening to conversations which might be Greek to you.
Give it a try, and you might be pleasantly surprised to search out you want your brother-in-law and his female friend. If it seems you don’t, you shouldn’t have to go along in your husband’s next visit, which can not occur for an additional quarter of a century.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
