DEAR ABBY: Is it normal to be disgusted by your wife’s lack of concern about her appearance and her belongings? My wife drives a $50,000 automotive that never gets washed and is so crammed with “stuff” that seldom can she take even one passenger.
Her side of the bedroom is just as bad. She never makes the bed and might not get to her dresser because there are such a lot of clothes piled in front of it. It’s the identical down the hall. Along with plowing things aside or piling them in a spare room, her messes take over the home.
She also doesn’t care for herself. She often doesn’t shower for days. Her clothes are frumpy, and I can not count what number of kilos she keeps adding. It’s embarrassing for me, especially when she proclaims she “won’t ever be concerned about her weight again.” I feel it’s disrespectful to me when she says those things, and I can’t let this proceed. I’m imagined to get used to it? It doesn’t seem right.
Most of her time is spent listening to and reading about politics. Some could be OK, but she has dived to this point down the self-righteous religious rabbit hole, she has no other perspective. She will be able to’t work. She believes she’s some form of activist because she forwards memes on Facebook. It amazes me that she will be able to see neighbors who’re older than she is have full-time careers and care for themselves and their things and yet still imagine she’s normal and even judge others.
She does a number of things for the church, where she will be able to portray an upstanding image, and it’s really vital to her that they see her that way. I feel she has a chemical imbalance of some sort and wishes help, but how do you even start? If it wasn’t so complicated, I’d move out. By not doing so, is my complacency making things worse? — AT MY LIMIT IN TEXAS
DEAR LIMIT: Was your wife like this if you were dating? Within the 12 months or two after your marriage? If the reply isn’t any, it can be crucial that she be evaluated by a physician because what you describe may very well be symptoms of depression or a mental or emotional problem.
The way in which I might handle this if I were in your house could be to inform her you’re keen on her, but you’ll be able to not live the way in which things have develop into. Then offer her a alternative: Get help, or you’re leaving.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been combating the lack of my mother, who passed away 10 months ago. She was my best friend and was at all times there for me after I got here out as gay. Once I married my husband in October 2020, she was so blissful — she actually gave me away. We lost her suddenly, and since then my life has felt dark and sad. I’m currently in therapy, and I actually have made some progress. But I’m stuck wondering, is it normal almost a 12 months later to still feel hurt and sad that my mother is gone? — SAD SON IN INDIANA
DEAR SON: I’m glad you asked. I’m also glad you’re in therapy. Everyone grieves in a different way, and it shouldn’t be unusual for somebody to proceed to grieve the lack of a loved one after a 12 months. Please accept my deepest sympathy for the lack of your dear mother. There are brighter days ahead.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: Is it normal to be disgusted by your wife’s lack of concern about her appearance and her belongings? My wife drives a $50,000 automotive that never gets washed and is so crammed with “stuff” that seldom can she take even one passenger.
Her side of the bedroom is just as bad. She never makes the bed and might not get to her dresser because there are such a lot of clothes piled in front of it. It’s the identical down the hall. Along with plowing things aside or piling them in a spare room, her messes take over the home.
She also doesn’t care for herself. She often doesn’t shower for days. Her clothes are frumpy, and I can not count what number of kilos she keeps adding. It’s embarrassing for me, especially when she proclaims she “won’t ever be concerned about her weight again.” I feel it’s disrespectful to me when she says those things, and I can’t let this proceed. I’m imagined to get used to it? It doesn’t seem right.
Most of her time is spent listening to and reading about politics. Some could be OK, but she has dived to this point down the self-righteous religious rabbit hole, she has no other perspective. She will be able to’t work. She believes she’s some form of activist because she forwards memes on Facebook. It amazes me that she will be able to see neighbors who’re older than she is have full-time careers and care for themselves and their things and yet still imagine she’s normal and even judge others.
She does a number of things for the church, where she will be able to portray an upstanding image, and it’s really vital to her that they see her that way. I feel she has a chemical imbalance of some sort and wishes help, but how do you even start? If it wasn’t so complicated, I’d move out. By not doing so, is my complacency making things worse? — AT MY LIMIT IN TEXAS
DEAR LIMIT: Was your wife like this if you were dating? Within the 12 months or two after your marriage? If the reply isn’t any, it can be crucial that she be evaluated by a physician because what you describe may very well be symptoms of depression or a mental or emotional problem.
The way in which I might handle this if I were in your house could be to inform her you’re keen on her, but you’ll be able to not live the way in which things have develop into. Then offer her a alternative: Get help, or you’re leaving.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been combating the lack of my mother, who passed away 10 months ago. She was my best friend and was at all times there for me after I got here out as gay. Once I married my husband in October 2020, she was so blissful — she actually gave me away. We lost her suddenly, and since then my life has felt dark and sad. I’m currently in therapy, and I actually have made some progress. But I’m stuck wondering, is it normal almost a 12 months later to still feel hurt and sad that my mother is gone? — SAD SON IN INDIANA
DEAR SON: I’m glad you asked. I’m also glad you’re in therapy. Everyone grieves in a different way, and it shouldn’t be unusual for somebody to proceed to grieve the lack of a loved one after a 12 months. Please accept my deepest sympathy for the lack of your dear mother. There are brighter days ahead.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
