DEAR ABBY: My wedding ring from my first marriage was perfect. My ex asked my dad for my late mother’s ring to propose to me. He then took Mom’s ring to the jeweler and had the stone put in a contemporary, beautiful setting that I loved.
We’re divorced now because my husband transitioned to female. We’re amicable, all things considered. I can’t imagine a lovelier ring if I would like to remarry someday. If I do, can I take advantage of the identical ring due to its sentimental value? I believe I could desire a fresh start and a distinct ring, but I can’t imagine anything higher and I feel stuck. — THINKING ABOUT THE RING
DEAR THINKING: That is something you’ll need to seek advice from the subsequent one who expresses an interest in marrying you. Many men wouldn’t like the thought of you wearing the ring out of your first marriage. A compromise is perhaps to reuse the heirloom stone and have it placed in a setting you each agree is acceptable. (It will sure save someone quite a lot of money.)
DEAR ABBY: Our son “Victor” and his wife have informed us that they’re “polyamorous.” They’ve been married for nine years, and were together for five years before they married. They’ve agreed to this arrangement, and their partners know they’re married. They love one another, own a house together and plan to be together without end. They’re “secure,” and nobody is getting hurt.
Due to their lifestyle, my husband, “Del,” has not communicated with them for greater than 16 months. He says if I die first, he’ll ensure they get nothing in his will. I even have visited them alone (we live over 800 miles away) and plan to achieve this in the long run. Our other married son, “Mike,” tried to seek advice from his father about this, but Del still refuses to budge. When Mike said this implies we’ll never be together as a family again, his father had no response.
I even have told Del that is breaking my heart. I even have considered leaving him over this. Nevertheless, if I leave, I’m doing the identical thing he has done — refusing to have a relationship because I don’t like his behavior. My husband also refuses to go to family gatherings together with his cousins or his brother because he has fundamental political differences with them. In reality, there are actually only 4 members of the family he’s interested by seeing. I assumed he would soften his attitude over time, but he hasn’t. What should I do? — HEARTBROKEN IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: What you do is proceed living your life as you usually have, and see your kids and other relatives as often as you would like. By now it ought to be obvious that nothing will change your husband’s attitude. If he insists on isolating and punishing himself, you’ll be able to’t stop him.
If Del becomes vindictive or punitive to you, seek the advice of a legal adviser about whether you ought to stay in a wedding like this. For those who select to depart, you’ll give you the chance to choose independently how your assets ought to be distributed within the event of your death.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.