DEAR ABBY: I’m in mourning for my husband. He’s still alive, but he up and left six months ago and sent me a text saying he’s done. He resides with one other woman. I didn’t see it coming. We were planning our retirement move as much as our cabin. One weekend he kicked me out of the cabin, and three hours later had her join him there.
I feel so lost. At this point, I don’t want him back because I feel he has committed the last word betrayal. I actually have began counseling because I’m so confused, grieving and upset. My counselor seems to think he’s leaving the door open to in the future return. He still comes once a month to pay the bills. Nevertheless, when he does, he doesn’t want me there. He texts to make sure that I can be gone for just a few hours, so I leave.
I miss him, but I can’t get beyond the pain and betrayal. He has lost a ton of weight and appears terrible. He has aged a lot. He’s 66, clinically depressed and an alcoholic. He’s also a narcissist. He would never admit he did something improper; it was all the time “my fault.” I never knew what I can be facing after work.
I’m still in the home and slowly packing up his clutter that I used to be never allowed to the touch. (He’s a hoarder.) I’m lonely, but I’m having fun with my peace. We don’t communicate in any respect. My query is, do you think that he’s going to return walking back in like nothing happened? — ABANDONED IN MINNESOTA
DEAR ABANDONED: I hope not! And if he did show up, why on Earth would you wish him back? (Frankly, I’m surprised that your therapist would suggest you’ll open the door to him.) You’re free. Seek the advice of an attorney, filter out the physical and emotional debris in your life and luxuriate in it.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are preparing to maneuver south because we’re bored with cold weather. The largest issue is my cat, Buster.” He isn’t a kitten anymore; he’s 9. Buster’s in good health, but we’re being advised to not take him from the apartment we share with my dad resulting from Buster’s age. My father is a mediocre caretaker at best. Half the time he doesn’t clean the litter box and even take out the rubbish. I’m convinced Buster would find yourself being neglected. I actually have been accused of planning to steal him.
Yesterday, I came upon Dad tested positive for COVID and didn’t tell anyone until we were within the apartment, too. He put us all in danger. This type of carelessness scares me about leaving Buster with him. Should I take him with us, or heed the recommendation about not stressing an older pet and leave him with dad? I can be heartbroken if I can’t take him. — SAD, STRESSED CAT MOM
DEAR SAD: If the recommendation about “stressing an older cat” got here from a veterinarian, it merits consideration. If it didn’t, then don’t have any qualms about taking Buster with you if you make the move. It could be higher to try this than to go away him in an environment where you’ll worry that he’s being neglected.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m in mourning for my husband. He’s still alive, but he up and left six months ago and sent me a text saying he’s done. He resides with one other woman. I didn’t see it coming. We were planning our retirement move as much as our cabin. One weekend he kicked me out of the cabin, and three hours later had her join him there.
I feel so lost. At this point, I don’t want him back because I feel he has committed the last word betrayal. I actually have began counseling because I’m so confused, grieving and upset. My counselor seems to think he’s leaving the door open to in the future return. He still comes once a month to pay the bills. Nevertheless, when he does, he doesn’t want me there. He texts to make sure that I can be gone for just a few hours, so I leave.
I miss him, but I can’t get beyond the pain and betrayal. He has lost a ton of weight and appears terrible. He has aged a lot. He’s 66, clinically depressed and an alcoholic. He’s also a narcissist. He would never admit he did something improper; it was all the time “my fault.” I never knew what I can be facing after work.
I’m still in the home and slowly packing up his clutter that I used to be never allowed to the touch. (He’s a hoarder.) I’m lonely, but I’m having fun with my peace. We don’t communicate in any respect. My query is, do you think that he’s going to return walking back in like nothing happened? — ABANDONED IN MINNESOTA
DEAR ABANDONED: I hope not! And if he did show up, why on Earth would you wish him back? (Frankly, I’m surprised that your therapist would suggest you’ll open the door to him.) You’re free. Seek the advice of an attorney, filter out the physical and emotional debris in your life and luxuriate in it.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are preparing to maneuver south because we’re bored with cold weather. The largest issue is my cat, Buster.” He isn’t a kitten anymore; he’s 9. Buster’s in good health, but we’re being advised to not take him from the apartment we share with my dad resulting from Buster’s age. My father is a mediocre caretaker at best. Half the time he doesn’t clean the litter box and even take out the rubbish. I’m convinced Buster would find yourself being neglected. I actually have been accused of planning to steal him.
Yesterday, I came upon Dad tested positive for COVID and didn’t tell anyone until we were within the apartment, too. He put us all in danger. This type of carelessness scares me about leaving Buster with him. Should I take him with us, or heed the recommendation about not stressing an older pet and leave him with dad? I can be heartbroken if I can’t take him. — SAD, STRESSED CAT MOM
DEAR SAD: If the recommendation about “stressing an older cat” got here from a veterinarian, it merits consideration. If it didn’t, then don’t have any qualms about taking Buster with you if you make the move. It could be higher to try this than to go away him in an environment where you’ll worry that he’s being neglected.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
