DEAR ABBY: I’m back at work after being a stay-at-home mom for the last decade. My job is in public education, and I earn lower than $25,000 a yr. My husband works for a Fortune 500 company and earns greater than $120,000 per yr. I understand that we now have debt, and I’m willing to contribute, but he keeps my paycheck — all of it.
To be honest, whilst hard as he works and as much as he takes care of and provides for our family, I’m not joyful. It’s not that I plan to go away, but without my very own money, I don’t even have the choice to plan for the long run. How can I persuade him to permit me the cash I earn, while assuring him that I’ll help to pay down our debt? — WORKING FOR NOTHING IN OHIO
DEAR WORKING: Your husband appears to be deeply insecure and controlling. You’re a wife, not an indentured servant. You shouldn’t must ask, beg or be required to persuade him that it’s best to have money you might be earning. Tell him that, and in addition explain how much of your money you should put aside in an account of your individual. If he refuses, suggest the 2 of you get mediation from a licensed family therapist. If he refuses to go along with you, go alone. You might also wish to seek the advice of an attorney who makes a speciality of family law about what your rights as a wife are within the state of Ohio. Please don’t put it off.
DEAR ABBY: I’m medically retired and have mobility issues, so I’m unable to be energetic or socialize. I don’t have many friends outside my family, so I spend many hours alone at home. My wife is an elementary school teacher. My two youngest children are in highschool.
My wife is a wonderful teacher, and I appreciate every thing she does for our family and her students. When she returns home within the evening, she has to grade papers, create lesson plans and dozens of other things that need preparation. I understand this, but when she’s finished, she spends the remaining of the evenings or weekends on social media.
Attempting to have a conversation together with her is nearly unimaginable because she’s not listening or interacting with me. I get short “yes” or “no” answers or constant “uh-huh” replies. I’ve tried talking together with her concerning the fact I feel marginalized, but she just gets offended.
It’s challenging being married to a physically handicapped person, I do know. Am I being overly sensitive? How do I express to her the loneliness I feel and the eager for a reference to my wife? — LONELY HUSBAND IN UTAH
DEAR LONELY HUSBAND: It will not be easy. You might need assistance getting through to her. Tell your wife that you desire to to have some marriage counseling because you’re feeling on their own on this marriage. Nonetheless, if she refuses, consider some counseling for yourself. Developing other social outlets online, as she appears to be doing, also might be useful.
Many communities provide transportation for disabled individuals so that they can get out of their homes. Depending upon your physical impairment, you could be inquisitive about exploring what’s available in your area.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m back at work after being a stay-at-home mom for the last decade. My job is in public education, and I earn lower than $25,000 a yr. My husband works for a Fortune 500 company and earns greater than $120,000 per yr. I understand that we now have debt, and I’m willing to contribute, but he keeps my paycheck — all of it.
To be honest, whilst hard as he works and as much as he takes care of and provides for our family, I’m not joyful. It’s not that I plan to go away, but without my very own money, I don’t even have the choice to plan for the long run. How can I persuade him to permit me the cash I earn, while assuring him that I’ll help to pay down our debt? — WORKING FOR NOTHING IN OHIO
DEAR WORKING: Your husband appears to be deeply insecure and controlling. You’re a wife, not an indentured servant. You shouldn’t must ask, beg or be required to persuade him that it’s best to have money you might be earning. Tell him that, and in addition explain how much of your money you should put aside in an account of your individual. If he refuses, suggest the 2 of you get mediation from a licensed family therapist. If he refuses to go along with you, go alone. You might also wish to seek the advice of an attorney who makes a speciality of family law about what your rights as a wife are within the state of Ohio. Please don’t put it off.
DEAR ABBY: I’m medically retired and have mobility issues, so I’m unable to be energetic or socialize. I don’t have many friends outside my family, so I spend many hours alone at home. My wife is an elementary school teacher. My two youngest children are in highschool.
My wife is a wonderful teacher, and I appreciate every thing she does for our family and her students. When she returns home within the evening, she has to grade papers, create lesson plans and dozens of other things that need preparation. I understand this, but when she’s finished, she spends the remaining of the evenings or weekends on social media.
Attempting to have a conversation together with her is nearly unimaginable because she’s not listening or interacting with me. I get short “yes” or “no” answers or constant “uh-huh” replies. I’ve tried talking together with her concerning the fact I feel marginalized, but she just gets offended.
It’s challenging being married to a physically handicapped person, I do know. Am I being overly sensitive? How do I express to her the loneliness I feel and the eager for a reference to my wife? — LONELY HUSBAND IN UTAH
DEAR LONELY HUSBAND: It will not be easy. You might need assistance getting through to her. Tell your wife that you desire to to have some marriage counseling because you’re feeling on their own on this marriage. Nonetheless, if she refuses, consider some counseling for yourself. Developing other social outlets online, as she appears to be doing, also might be useful.
Many communities provide transportation for disabled individuals so that they can get out of their homes. Depending upon your physical impairment, you could be inquisitive about exploring what’s available in your area.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
