DEAR ABBY: I even have two grandkids — a 4-year-old granddaughter, “Emily,” and a 2-year-old grandson, “Earl.” My husband isn’t blood-related to them. He treats Emily like a princess, but treats Earl badly. She will do no incorrect; he can do no right. Anytime I even have them each over, my husband and I even have huge fights due to how he disciplines and ignores my grandson. He doesn’t show Earl any of the love he shows my granddaughter. I even have tried talking to him about it, and he says, “Why can’t you get it through your head? I don’t like boys.” After I told him it hurts me, he just rolled his eyes. I see my options as not having my grandson over or ending my marriage. I’m now very resentful. What should I do? — TROUBLED GRANDMA IN MICHIGAN
DEAR GRANDMA: Could your husband be going through a late case of the terrible twos? Has he explained the rationale for his dislike of little boys? It’s peculiar since, at such a young age, Earl hasn’t been in the image long enough to have offended anyone. In case your husband can’t restrain himself around Earl, he should absent himself when Earl visits Granny. Or, tell your husband he must either manage an attitude adjustment or pack his bags. I can’t imagine how, if Earl’s parents are aware of this, they permit it to proceed.
DEAR ABBY: My wife consistently gaslights me. We now have 4 children (ages 1, 3, 4 and 6), and we each work full-time. Nonetheless, I pull 90% of the load at home. I do nearly all of household chores and far of the parenting. She’s an awesome mom and owns the morning routine and nearly all of the take care of our 1-year-old, but apart from that, I do all the pieces. She’s an elementary school teacher and she or he goes to bed at 7:30 each night after the youngsters go down. After I ask her why, she says it’s because she has to serve others at work.
When she gets home, she complains endlessly about her job and makes me feel guilty, as if I force her to have one. After we moved to our current home, we agreed she needed to show so our youngsters could go to highschool within the district. She admits she knows my desire is solely to spend more time together with her. We now have had a babysitter only 4 times in six years. Please give me some advice. — DISSATISFIED IN ALABAMA
DEAR DISSATISFIED: You and your wife each have busy lives, but she seems to have forgotten that it’s also vital to have a relationship with you. As you stated, you mutually agreed to tackle this heavy load for a reason — your kids’s education. Things won’t improve without compromise. A licensed marriage and family therapist may give you the chance to assist the 2 of you arrive at one. Your physician should give you the chance to refer you to 1.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I even have two grandkids — a 4-year-old granddaughter, “Emily,” and a 2-year-old grandson, “Earl.” My husband isn’t blood-related to them. He treats Emily like a princess, but treats Earl badly. She will do no incorrect; he can do no right. Anytime I even have them each over, my husband and I even have huge fights due to how he disciplines and ignores my grandson. He doesn’t show Earl any of the love he shows my granddaughter. I even have tried talking to him about it, and he says, “Why can’t you get it through your head? I don’t like boys.” After I told him it hurts me, he just rolled his eyes. I see my options as not having my grandson over or ending my marriage. I’m now very resentful. What should I do? — TROUBLED GRANDMA IN MICHIGAN
DEAR GRANDMA: Could your husband be going through a late case of the terrible twos? Has he explained the rationale for his dislike of little boys? It’s peculiar since, at such a young age, Earl hasn’t been in the image long enough to have offended anyone. In case your husband can’t restrain himself around Earl, he should absent himself when Earl visits Granny. Or, tell your husband he must either manage an attitude adjustment or pack his bags. I can’t imagine how, if Earl’s parents are aware of this, they permit it to proceed.
DEAR ABBY: My wife consistently gaslights me. We now have 4 children (ages 1, 3, 4 and 6), and we each work full-time. Nonetheless, I pull 90% of the load at home. I do nearly all of household chores and far of the parenting. She’s an awesome mom and owns the morning routine and nearly all of the take care of our 1-year-old, but apart from that, I do all the pieces. She’s an elementary school teacher and she or he goes to bed at 7:30 each night after the youngsters go down. After I ask her why, she says it’s because she has to serve others at work.
When she gets home, she complains endlessly about her job and makes me feel guilty, as if I force her to have one. After we moved to our current home, we agreed she needed to show so our youngsters could go to highschool within the district. She admits she knows my desire is solely to spend more time together with her. We now have had a babysitter only 4 times in six years. Please give me some advice. — DISSATISFIED IN ALABAMA
DEAR DISSATISFIED: You and your wife each have busy lives, but she seems to have forgotten that it’s also vital to have a relationship with you. As you stated, you mutually agreed to tackle this heavy load for a reason — your kids’s education. Things won’t improve without compromise. A licensed marriage and family therapist may give you the chance to assist the 2 of you arrive at one. Your physician should give you the chance to refer you to 1.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
