DEAR ABBY: My late husband and I were married 38 years once we finally went to marriage counseling. I discovered then that he had slept with my sister early in our marriage. I had suspected he’d also had an affair together with his uncle’s wife. (They were very close in age.) This, too, was confirmed in counseling.
My sister was recently home due to our mom’s health, and it was a struggle to be in the identical hospital room along with her. So far as the opposite gal, there are just a few occasional family get-togethers, which I avoid due to her.
I would like help. How do I cope with this in spite of everything these years? — NOT OVER IT YET
DEAR NOT OVER IT: Take back your life. You may have nothing to be embarrassed about. Tell your sister and the opposite woman that you understand they slept along with your husband. And at the subsequent family get-together, tell the remainder of your relatives why you avoided all those previous get-togethers so that they don’t think they were the rationale.
DEAR ABBY: There’s a lady at work I’m drawn to, but I’m uninterested in getting turned down. She’s very talkative with me and asks me a lot of questions, but when I even have come on to her, I’m rebuffed. She says she has a boyfriend. I’m unsure why she’s so friendly with me, but I feel I’m getting mixed messages.
In our job, we occasionally must work side by side, and when that happens, I’m conflicted about whether to open up or shut down. Possibly I should ask if she still has a boyfriend and, if she does, communicate concerning the task at hand. The idle chatting is becoming uncomfortable, because I would like something more. What’s one of the best plan of action? — NEXT TO HER IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR NEXT TO HER: Asking her again if she still has a boyfriend wouldn’t be out of line. Nonetheless, if her answer is yes, ignore anything greater than a cordial work relationship because not every attraction is mutual. Think about work whilst you’re there, and look elsewhere for love after hours.
DEAR ABBY: I dated this lady for 3 months. She desired to wait to commit to a relationship before having sex. We had limited time to see one another — Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. We might exit and return to her place and be very passionate, although we didn’t have sex due to her religious beliefs.
She has now decided to not pursue a relationship with me because she didn’t feel the “flame” of a reference to me. In any case this kissing, hugging and getting near sex at times, how could she feel this manner? Was I played? — TOTALLY CONFUSED IN TEXAS
DEAR CONFUSED: Give the girl marks for being honest if she couldn’t return your ardor. Depending upon what she was getting from the connection along with kissing, hugging and fervour, whether you were played is an issue only you’ll be able to answer.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My late husband and I were married 38 years once we finally went to marriage counseling. I discovered then that he had slept with my sister early in our marriage. I had suspected he’d also had an affair together with his uncle’s wife. (They were very close in age.) This, too, was confirmed in counseling.
My sister was recently home due to our mom’s health, and it was a struggle to be in the identical hospital room along with her. So far as the opposite gal, there are just a few occasional family get-togethers, which I avoid due to her.
I would like help. How do I cope with this in spite of everything these years? — NOT OVER IT YET
DEAR NOT OVER IT: Take back your life. You may have nothing to be embarrassed about. Tell your sister and the opposite woman that you understand they slept along with your husband. And at the subsequent family get-together, tell the remainder of your relatives why you avoided all those previous get-togethers so that they don’t think they were the rationale.
DEAR ABBY: There’s a lady at work I’m drawn to, but I’m uninterested in getting turned down. She’s very talkative with me and asks me a lot of questions, but when I even have come on to her, I’m rebuffed. She says she has a boyfriend. I’m unsure why she’s so friendly with me, but I feel I’m getting mixed messages.
In our job, we occasionally must work side by side, and when that happens, I’m conflicted about whether to open up or shut down. Possibly I should ask if she still has a boyfriend and, if she does, communicate concerning the task at hand. The idle chatting is becoming uncomfortable, because I would like something more. What’s one of the best plan of action? — NEXT TO HER IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR NEXT TO HER: Asking her again if she still has a boyfriend wouldn’t be out of line. Nonetheless, if her answer is yes, ignore anything greater than a cordial work relationship because not every attraction is mutual. Think about work whilst you’re there, and look elsewhere for love after hours.
DEAR ABBY: I dated this lady for 3 months. She desired to wait to commit to a relationship before having sex. We had limited time to see one another — Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. We might exit and return to her place and be very passionate, although we didn’t have sex due to her religious beliefs.
She has now decided to not pursue a relationship with me because she didn’t feel the “flame” of a reference to me. In any case this kissing, hugging and getting near sex at times, how could she feel this manner? Was I played? — TOTALLY CONFUSED IN TEXAS
DEAR CONFUSED: Give the girl marks for being honest if she couldn’t return your ardor. Depending upon what she was getting from the connection along with kissing, hugging and fervour, whether you were played is an issue only you’ll be able to answer.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
