DEAR ABBY: I’m in a committed relationship with a beautiful man. We should not married, but we call one another husband and wife and have two beautiful children together. Our relationship is great.
My husband had a distinct childhood than mine. He didn’t have many friends of the other sex. I, however, had numerous guy friends growing up. I cherish a lot of these platonic relationships. There’s numerous history with them (some greater than 20 years), and I enjoy their company greatly. We don’t have any romantic histories.
I don’t hang around with them actually because I do know my husband could be upset if I were to see one other man one-on-one, even just as friends. I understand his perspective. I do know I is perhaps jealous if he were to hang around one-on-one with one other woman, and I might wonder. I assume we each have trust issues.
There are some hobbies I would love to have interaction in, and a number of of those guy friends have expressed interest in joining me now and again. One among those activities is metal detecting. I actually have the 2 kids in tow most times and would want help digging. Even without the children, I don’t think it will be as much fun doing this by myself. My husband would join me if he weren’t so drained from his 12-hour workday and getting up at 4 a.m.
I’m going stir-crazy with the children, and I would like an outlet. That is something that excites me, as it’s going to get me outdoors, and is steeped in local history. These men are a few of my best friends and we might never idiot around, but I’m afraid my husband won’t understand. Is there any hope? — TREASURE-BLOCKED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR TREASURE-BLOCKED: If that is going to occur, you and your husband first must resolve your trust and insecurity issues. There’s hope if you happen to discuss this thoroughly with him and he trusts you sufficient that it won’t excite his insecurities. (The identical could be true if the situation were reversed.)
He must know that whenever you do that, he’s all the time invited. Have you ever asked any of your women friends in the event that they might find your hobby to be of interest? It is feasible a number of of them would welcome the break, too.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a single, retired woman on a set budget. I really like to cook and entertain. I might do it more often if several of my friends didn’t routinely eat 4 to 6 bottles of wine collectively at dinner (at the very least one bottle per person, plus other drinks).
I can’t afford to spend $100 or more on alcohol, but I’m embarrassed to ask them to bring their very own beverages, as nobody else within the group does it. Any suggestions for the right way to handle this without offending them or breaking my budget? — GRATEFUL FOR ADVICE
DEAR GRATEFUL: You should not obligated to go broke paying for your pals’ overindulgence. Because you’re entertaining in your individual home, tell them what you may have available, what you propose to serve and, in the event that they need more, they need to bring it with them.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m in a committed relationship with a beautiful man. We should not married, but we call one another husband and wife and have two beautiful children together. Our relationship is great.
My husband had a distinct childhood than mine. He didn’t have many friends of the other sex. I, however, had numerous guy friends growing up. I cherish a lot of these platonic relationships. There’s numerous history with them (some greater than 20 years), and I enjoy their company greatly. We don’t have any romantic histories.
I don’t hang around with them actually because I do know my husband could be upset if I were to see one other man one-on-one, even just as friends. I understand his perspective. I do know I is perhaps jealous if he were to hang around one-on-one with one other woman, and I might wonder. I assume we each have trust issues.
There are some hobbies I would love to have interaction in, and a number of of those guy friends have expressed interest in joining me now and again. One among those activities is metal detecting. I actually have the 2 kids in tow most times and would want help digging. Even without the children, I don’t think it will be as much fun doing this by myself. My husband would join me if he weren’t so drained from his 12-hour workday and getting up at 4 a.m.
I’m going stir-crazy with the children, and I would like an outlet. That is something that excites me, as it’s going to get me outdoors, and is steeped in local history. These men are a few of my best friends and we might never idiot around, but I’m afraid my husband won’t understand. Is there any hope? — TREASURE-BLOCKED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR TREASURE-BLOCKED: If that is going to occur, you and your husband first must resolve your trust and insecurity issues. There’s hope if you happen to discuss this thoroughly with him and he trusts you sufficient that it won’t excite his insecurities. (The identical could be true if the situation were reversed.)
He must know that whenever you do that, he’s all the time invited. Have you ever asked any of your women friends in the event that they might find your hobby to be of interest? It is feasible a number of of them would welcome the break, too.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a single, retired woman on a set budget. I really like to cook and entertain. I might do it more often if several of my friends didn’t routinely eat 4 to 6 bottles of wine collectively at dinner (at the very least one bottle per person, plus other drinks).
I can’t afford to spend $100 or more on alcohol, but I’m embarrassed to ask them to bring their very own beverages, as nobody else within the group does it. Any suggestions for the right way to handle this without offending them or breaking my budget? — GRATEFUL FOR ADVICE
DEAR GRATEFUL: You should not obligated to go broke paying for your pals’ overindulgence. Because you’re entertaining in your individual home, tell them what you may have available, what you propose to serve and, in the event that they need more, they need to bring it with them.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
