DEAR ABBY: A 12 months ago, my landlord asked me to maneuver out of an apartment that I loved. I could not afford the rent, so I asked my son if I could live with him. He agreed without hesitation. Two weeks later, I packed up and moved.
At first, it was comfortable, but things began to vary after I had emergency open-heart surgery. My granddaughter announced that she was moving in as well. Then here she comes along with her boyfriend, expecting him to live there, too. My son refused at first but modified his mind. That’s when the constant screaming began.
Her boyfriend has a foul attitude. He bullies me when no person is at home. Neither one works. They live to tell the tale my son’s income. I’m running low on patience and strength. I’m 77. All I would love is to recover and have some peace and quiet. What do I do? Are you able to advise me? — TRAPPED IN FLORIDA
DEAR TRAPPED: Since the stress is becoming an excessive amount of for you, explain to your son what is happening when he’s absent. Then start in search of another living situation you’ll have the ability to administer inside your budget. If it means renting a room somewhere reasonably than an apartment, be prepared to do it. Your health must come first.
DEAR ABBY: Five months ago, my relationship of 10 years ended. I discovered my boyfriend had been unfaithful on multiple occasion. He didn’t need to fix the connection, and I could not take more of his mental and emotional abuse.
My biggest hurdle is our kids, who’re 3 and 6. I actually have done every thing for them since they were born. My ex and I verbally agreed on a 50-50 schedule, so I actually have gone from being with them every single day to half that point, and I hate it. I miss them terribly once they aren’t with me. My anxiety and worry have skyrocketed.
I would like to do what’s best for my kids, and I struggle every day with worrying if what I’m doing is best. Is it best for them to be with their dad half the time when he hasn’t been around much these past two years? I actually have talked to a lawyer, who said it’s as much as me since we were never married. Family and friends have told me to provide Dad only every other weekend, but is that really what’s best for them?
I don’t know what to do and feel so lost. It could be easier for me if their dad had only every other weekend. Nevertheless, this decision isn’t about me. How do I do know if what I’m doing is best for my kids? — MOMMY OF TWO IN MINNESOTA
DEAR MOMMY: The reply to your query is dependent upon how involved with the kids their father is once they are with him. Does he refer to them, read to them, ensure they’re clean, dressed, properly fed and getting enough exercise? Is his home clean and smoke-free? If the reply to any of those questions is not any, the kids must be with the parent who will give them not only the most effective of care, but love them and allow them to realize it every single day.
To his credit, your ex appears to be stepping as much as the plate. And you’re right — this isn’t nearly you and your individual needs. I applaud you for recognizing it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: A 12 months ago, my landlord asked me to maneuver out of an apartment that I loved. I could not afford the rent, so I asked my son if I could live with him. He agreed without hesitation. Two weeks later, I packed up and moved.
At first, it was comfortable, but things began to vary after I had emergency open-heart surgery. My granddaughter announced that she was moving in as well. Then here she comes along with her boyfriend, expecting him to live there, too. My son refused at first but modified his mind. That’s when the constant screaming began.
Her boyfriend has a foul attitude. He bullies me when no person is at home. Neither one works. They live to tell the tale my son’s income. I’m running low on patience and strength. I’m 77. All I would love is to recover and have some peace and quiet. What do I do? Are you able to advise me? — TRAPPED IN FLORIDA
DEAR TRAPPED: Since the stress is becoming an excessive amount of for you, explain to your son what is happening when he’s absent. Then start in search of another living situation you’ll have the ability to administer inside your budget. If it means renting a room somewhere reasonably than an apartment, be prepared to do it. Your health must come first.
DEAR ABBY: Five months ago, my relationship of 10 years ended. I discovered my boyfriend had been unfaithful on multiple occasion. He didn’t need to fix the connection, and I could not take more of his mental and emotional abuse.
My biggest hurdle is our kids, who’re 3 and 6. I actually have done every thing for them since they were born. My ex and I verbally agreed on a 50-50 schedule, so I actually have gone from being with them every single day to half that point, and I hate it. I miss them terribly once they aren’t with me. My anxiety and worry have skyrocketed.
I would like to do what’s best for my kids, and I struggle every day with worrying if what I’m doing is best. Is it best for them to be with their dad half the time when he hasn’t been around much these past two years? I actually have talked to a lawyer, who said it’s as much as me since we were never married. Family and friends have told me to provide Dad only every other weekend, but is that really what’s best for them?
I don’t know what to do and feel so lost. It could be easier for me if their dad had only every other weekend. Nevertheless, this decision isn’t about me. How do I do know if what I’m doing is best for my kids? — MOMMY OF TWO IN MINNESOTA
DEAR MOMMY: The reply to your query is dependent upon how involved with the kids their father is once they are with him. Does he refer to them, read to them, ensure they’re clean, dressed, properly fed and getting enough exercise? Is his home clean and smoke-free? If the reply to any of those questions is not any, the kids must be with the parent who will give them not only the most effective of care, but love them and allow them to realize it every single day.
To his credit, your ex appears to be stepping as much as the plate. And you’re right — this isn’t nearly you and your individual needs. I applaud you for recognizing it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
