DEAR ABBY: A great friend of 20 years has been homeless for several months. After a brief stint of staying in various Airbnbs, she is now mostly living in her automobile. She has a good-quality, FREE living option available to her. However it would require her to maneuver five hours away, and she or he doesn’t want to depart her job here. Meanwhile, I actually have a guest room.
Since experiencing homelessness, my friend has stayed with me and my family on three different occasions, every time for about per week. However it’s not a sustainable or long-term option. Long story short, we don’t need a roommate.
The last time she stayed with us, my friend turned down an inexpensive living situation with a roommate since the house was too “gross” for her. I discovered it frustrating. Housing in our area is pricey, and she or he works part-time at most. Her talk of getting more work has gone nowhere up to now.
I do know I shouldn’t tackle her problems as my very own. However it’s hard to wonder about my friend’s safety, where she’s showering, charging her phone, keeping her food cold, etc., while my guest bedroom sits empty. Am I fallacious to not open up my home to her indefinitely? I feel like she’s one automobile lease payment away from sleeping under a bridge. However, she has options she’s refusing to take. What does a superb friend do in this case? — FORTUNATE IN OREGON
DEAR FORTUNATE: If one is smart, she lets her friend live the life she has chosen (in her automobile) without intervening further. As kind as you’re, you can’t rescue someone who’s unwilling to assist herself.
DEAR ABBY: My youngest son married and moved across the country to the West Coast. They did this because his wife could be very controlling — her mother lives there and she or he pressured him into it. They then had three children, who, because we live to tell the tale the East Coast, we unfortunately rarely see.
My son is now having serious marital issues because his wife and mother-in-law have teamed up against him after his father-in-law died from COVID. He wants to depart his wife and return to his family here, but won’t do it due to the youngsters. He’s at his wits’ end and doesn’t know what to do. Any suggestions? — SADDENED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR SADDENED: Advise your son that he should discuss his problem with an attorney who focuses on family law and a licensed psychotherapist to assist him through this difficult period. If he separates from his wife and mother-in-law, he could still be near the youngsters and involved of their lives without being double-teamed, which should bring him some relief. After you have got suggested this, step back and let your son work his way through this. Be supportive from a distance and stay out of the road of fireplace.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: A great friend of 20 years has been homeless for several months. After a brief stint of staying in various Airbnbs, she is now mostly living in her automobile. She has a good-quality, FREE living option available to her. However it would require her to maneuver five hours away, and she or he doesn’t want to depart her job here. Meanwhile, I actually have a guest room.
Since experiencing homelessness, my friend has stayed with me and my family on three different occasions, every time for about per week. However it’s not a sustainable or long-term option. Long story short, we don’t need a roommate.
The last time she stayed with us, my friend turned down an inexpensive living situation with a roommate since the house was too “gross” for her. I discovered it frustrating. Housing in our area is pricey, and she or he works part-time at most. Her talk of getting more work has gone nowhere up to now.
I do know I shouldn’t tackle her problems as my very own. However it’s hard to wonder about my friend’s safety, where she’s showering, charging her phone, keeping her food cold, etc., while my guest bedroom sits empty. Am I fallacious to not open up my home to her indefinitely? I feel like she’s one automobile lease payment away from sleeping under a bridge. However, she has options she’s refusing to take. What does a superb friend do in this case? — FORTUNATE IN OREGON
DEAR FORTUNATE: If one is smart, she lets her friend live the life she has chosen (in her automobile) without intervening further. As kind as you’re, you can’t rescue someone who’s unwilling to assist herself.
DEAR ABBY: My youngest son married and moved across the country to the West Coast. They did this because his wife could be very controlling — her mother lives there and she or he pressured him into it. They then had three children, who, because we live to tell the tale the East Coast, we unfortunately rarely see.
My son is now having serious marital issues because his wife and mother-in-law have teamed up against him after his father-in-law died from COVID. He wants to depart his wife and return to his family here, but won’t do it due to the youngsters. He’s at his wits’ end and doesn’t know what to do. Any suggestions? — SADDENED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR SADDENED: Advise your son that he should discuss his problem with an attorney who focuses on family law and a licensed psychotherapist to assist him through this difficult period. If he separates from his wife and mother-in-law, he could still be near the youngsters and involved of their lives without being double-teamed, which should bring him some relief. After you have got suggested this, step back and let your son work his way through this. Be supportive from a distance and stay out of the road of fireplace.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
