DEAR ABBY: I even have a friend I occasionally meet for breakfast. She at all times stops someplace en route and brings takeout coffee into the restaurant. I’m often kept waiting because she’s in a drive-thru getting that drink. I find it embarrassing that she joins me with drink in hand from elsewhere. How should I handle this? — EMBARRASSED IN THE EAST
DEAR EMBARRASSED: Ask your friend why she does it. It’s possible she simply doesn’t just like the coffee that restaurant serves, although she does enjoy their food and your organization. I don’t think it is best to tell her it embarrasses you, since it is basically no reflection on you.
DEAR ABBY: About 10 years ago, I visited my oldest and dearest friend, who I see a couple of times a yr. The last time, her husband, who I’ve also known for years and who I assumed was a friend, began teasing me. I can take a joke, however the teasing got mean. Eventually he stopped, and I continued my visit.
I used to be really offended at him, but because I didn’t wish to involve my friend, I sent him an email. I told him I assumed his teasing went too far and to please not do it again. He never replied. Now after I visit my friend, her husband isn’t there. He stays away. I haven’t seen him in years.
My friend makes silly excuses why he isn’t at home after I visit. Actually, the last time I went I saw him driving away after I drove up! I don’t hold a grudge against the guy. I feel it’s sad that he has to run away. Should I say something? — PERPLEXED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR PERPLEXED: No. You dealt along with your friend’s husband appropriately without involving his wife. Enjoy your visits along with her, and don’t drag her into this. I see no reason to lift the topic. Your problem is solved.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a gentleman who would really like to this point greater than I do. I would like to ask a girl in my church choir out for coffee or lunch on a Sunday afternoon. But I get so nervous I get knots in my stomach. I do know dating is considered one of the things I would like to depart in God’s hands and have His assist in getting over the nerves.
I like my friend within the choir rather a lot. I feel she’s a beautiful and caring person. I would like to get to know her higher because, though we’ve said “Hi” and “Bye” and exchanged glances during choir practice on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, I don’t know her heart and what makes her tick. Are you able to offer some advice? — PAINFULLY SHY IN MISSOURI
DEAR PAINFULLY SHY: Start treating the lady as you’d a friend reasonably than a love interest. Asking a fellow choir member to hitch you for coffee afterward or for a lunch may very well be a healthy, nonthreatening starting of a relationship. (Notice I didn’t use the word “romance.”) Because you desire to get to know her higher, summon your courage and let her get to know you higher. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I even have a friend I occasionally meet for breakfast. She at all times stops someplace en route and brings takeout coffee into the restaurant. I’m often kept waiting because she’s in a drive-thru getting that drink. I find it embarrassing that she joins me with drink in hand from elsewhere. How should I handle this? — EMBARRASSED IN THE EAST
DEAR EMBARRASSED: Ask your friend why she does it. It’s possible she simply doesn’t just like the coffee that restaurant serves, although she does enjoy their food and your organization. I don’t think it is best to tell her it embarrasses you, since it is basically no reflection on you.
DEAR ABBY: About 10 years ago, I visited my oldest and dearest friend, who I see a couple of times a yr. The last time, her husband, who I’ve also known for years and who I assumed was a friend, began teasing me. I can take a joke, however the teasing got mean. Eventually he stopped, and I continued my visit.
I used to be really offended at him, but because I didn’t wish to involve my friend, I sent him an email. I told him I assumed his teasing went too far and to please not do it again. He never replied. Now after I visit my friend, her husband isn’t there. He stays away. I haven’t seen him in years.
My friend makes silly excuses why he isn’t at home after I visit. Actually, the last time I went I saw him driving away after I drove up! I don’t hold a grudge against the guy. I feel it’s sad that he has to run away. Should I say something? — PERPLEXED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR PERPLEXED: No. You dealt along with your friend’s husband appropriately without involving his wife. Enjoy your visits along with her, and don’t drag her into this. I see no reason to lift the topic. Your problem is solved.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a gentleman who would really like to this point greater than I do. I would like to ask a girl in my church choir out for coffee or lunch on a Sunday afternoon. But I get so nervous I get knots in my stomach. I do know dating is considered one of the things I would like to depart in God’s hands and have His assist in getting over the nerves.
I like my friend within the choir rather a lot. I feel she’s a beautiful and caring person. I would like to get to know her higher because, though we’ve said “Hi” and “Bye” and exchanged glances during choir practice on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, I don’t know her heart and what makes her tick. Are you able to offer some advice? — PAINFULLY SHY IN MISSOURI
DEAR PAINFULLY SHY: Start treating the lady as you’d a friend reasonably than a love interest. Asking a fellow choir member to hitch you for coffee afterward or for a lunch may very well be a healthy, nonthreatening starting of a relationship. (Notice I didn’t use the word “romance.”) Because you desire to get to know her higher, summon your courage and let her get to know you higher. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
