DEAR ABBY: I’ve known “Bianca” since highschool. She’s my neighbor and godmother to my son. I consider her a sister, and we travel and spend holidays together. Our families get along well.
A month ago, my body began aching throughout. I actually have been feeling sick, and my doctor is attempting to work out what’s flawed with me.
Someday, Bianca and I bumped into one another, and I told her I used to be feeling really sick. She replied, “Stop saying that. Sick, sick, sick. No! Higher to say that you just are in pain but not sick!” (It was an order.)
Abby, Bianca’s comment took me aback. I told her I can’t complain to my family members on a regular basis and I believed I could share together with her. She told me she gets apprehensive each time I do it. I complained to her only a few times in a three-week period. I’m so sad.
Bianca is my best friend. We talk on the phone, but not as often as we used to. I do know she realized immediately that she had hurt me, but she didn’t apologize.
Each time I give it some thought, I get an empty feeling in my stomach. I’m not holding a grudge, but now I’m more careful about what I say.
When she asks about my health, I modify the topic. What are your thoughts on this? — CENSORED IN ECUADOR
DEAR CENSORED: I’m trying to come to a decision in case your friend Bianca could also be so empathetic that whenever you mention your physical pain she experiences it, too, or whether she’s just plain insensitive.
Regardless of the explanation for her inability to hearken to you discuss your symptoms, if you happen to want this friendship to last, you’re going to have to just accept that she isn’t as much as the challenge and find one other outlet.
Consider asking your physician for a referral to a physician who focuses on chronic pain.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been at the identical job for 20-plus years and have accrued numerous vacation days. I don’t often take every week or two at a time; I’ll take a day without work here and there.
My neighbors can’t get their heads around this and ask me repeatedly, “Don’t you’re employed day-after-day? Do you’ve Fridays off? Why aren’t you at work?”
It frosts me because they’re implying I’m doing something flawed and think my schedule and life are their business.
Many of the old-timers have left the complex since I moved in, but just a few busybodies remain. They seem to suffer from “group think” and tend to interfere. (One management company dropped us because they interfered a lot.)
It goes right over their heads that they is likely to be bothering folks with questions like this. I’m now using the hearth stairs and taking different routes to avoid encountering a few of them. Any advice? — THIRD DEGREE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR THIRD DEGREE: Could a few of those “old-timers” suffer from cognitive impairment, which is why they persist in asking these questions?
If you happen to are usually not desirous about answering any query you regard as intrusive, change the topic, ignore the query and keep walking.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve known “Bianca” since highschool. She’s my neighbor and godmother to my son. I consider her a sister, and we travel and spend holidays together. Our families get along well.
A month ago, my body began aching throughout. I actually have been feeling sick, and my doctor is attempting to work out what’s flawed with me.
Someday, Bianca and I bumped into one another, and I told her I used to be feeling really sick. She replied, “Stop saying that. Sick, sick, sick. No! Higher to say that you just are in pain but not sick!” (It was an order.)
Abby, Bianca’s comment took me aback. I told her I can’t complain to my family members on a regular basis and I believed I could share together with her. She told me she gets apprehensive each time I do it. I complained to her only a few times in a three-week period. I’m so sad.
Bianca is my best friend. We talk on the phone, but not as often as we used to. I do know she realized immediately that she had hurt me, but she didn’t apologize.
Each time I give it some thought, I get an empty feeling in my stomach. I’m not holding a grudge, but now I’m more careful about what I say.
When she asks about my health, I modify the topic. What are your thoughts on this? — CENSORED IN ECUADOR
DEAR CENSORED: I’m trying to come to a decision in case your friend Bianca could also be so empathetic that whenever you mention your physical pain she experiences it, too, or whether she’s just plain insensitive.
Regardless of the explanation for her inability to hearken to you discuss your symptoms, if you happen to want this friendship to last, you’re going to have to just accept that she isn’t as much as the challenge and find one other outlet.
Consider asking your physician for a referral to a physician who focuses on chronic pain.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been at the identical job for 20-plus years and have accrued numerous vacation days. I don’t often take every week or two at a time; I’ll take a day without work here and there.
My neighbors can’t get their heads around this and ask me repeatedly, “Don’t you’re employed day-after-day? Do you’ve Fridays off? Why aren’t you at work?”
It frosts me because they’re implying I’m doing something flawed and think my schedule and life are their business.
Many of the old-timers have left the complex since I moved in, but just a few busybodies remain. They seem to suffer from “group think” and tend to interfere. (One management company dropped us because they interfered a lot.)
It goes right over their heads that they is likely to be bothering folks with questions like this. I’m now using the hearth stairs and taking different routes to avoid encountering a few of them. Any advice? — THIRD DEGREE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR THIRD DEGREE: Could a few of those “old-timers” suffer from cognitive impairment, which is why they persist in asking these questions?
If you happen to are usually not desirous about answering any query you regard as intrusive, change the topic, ignore the query and keep walking.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
