DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Leon,” and I actually have been together for 13 years. He’s bisexual — gay-leaning. I knew this after we got together.
I’m 51, and Leon is 32. We still love one another deeply, but he can also be in a relationship with a person. His boyfriend is 21. We’ve an 11-year-old daughter together, and I actually have two grown kids from a previous marriage.
I used to be at all times OK with Leon having friends with advantages. But this recent relationship has me feeling lost and confused.
I don’t want our marriage to be ruined due to his relationship with this man, but I’m afraid it would well occur.
After having been married for thus long, it seems like my best friend is being ripped from me also. We’ve been through lots together.
This tidal wave of emotions is getting the higher of me. Please help. I don’t know what to do. — LOSING HOPE IN IDAHO
DEAR LOSING HOPE: While you married Leon, you probably did it knowing it might be an open marriage.
Neither you nor your husband took under consideration that he might meet someone he could fall deeply in love with. Under the circumstances, your feelings are comprehensible.
Couples counseling may make it easier to to regulate to the brand new reality, and I heartily recommend it. Your doctor should have the option to refer you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m hurt and angered by the shunning I’m experiencing from my family because they disapprove of my incarcerated fiance.
I’m in my 60s, and I actually have worked for 20 years as a counselor in higher education. I’m engaged to a beautiful man who’s serving a life sentence within the South.
We’ve been writing and talking via phone and video for greater than two years.
We recently had our first visit. We love one another very much. I just moved to his state so we are able to visit every month and so I could be near his family.
My family has now blocked me on social media, on the phone and on email. Before they did it, they told me I’m mentally disturbed and said they need nothing more to do with me.
I actually have tried several times to increase an olive branch, but they ignore me. Is there anything I can do to reconnect? — SHUNNED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SHUNNED: Your relatives may feel the best way they do because they’re concerned for you, or the crime for which your fiance was imprisoned frightens them for their very own safety should he be released someday.
Is he eligible for parole, or will your relationship proceed to be a once-a-month visit in perpetuity?
You look like an informed, caring individual. But don’t count on reuniting along with your family — at this point, their minds seem like made up.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Leon,” and I actually have been together for 13 years. He’s bisexual — gay-leaning. I knew this after we got together.
I’m 51, and Leon is 32. We still love one another deeply, but he can also be in a relationship with a person. His boyfriend is 21. We’ve an 11-year-old daughter together, and I actually have two grown kids from a previous marriage.
I used to be at all times OK with Leon having friends with advantages. But this recent relationship has me feeling lost and confused.
I don’t want our marriage to be ruined due to his relationship with this man, but I’m afraid it would well occur.
After having been married for thus long, it seems like my best friend is being ripped from me also. We’ve been through lots together.
This tidal wave of emotions is getting the higher of me. Please help. I don’t know what to do. — LOSING HOPE IN IDAHO
DEAR LOSING HOPE: While you married Leon, you probably did it knowing it might be an open marriage.
Neither you nor your husband took under consideration that he might meet someone he could fall deeply in love with. Under the circumstances, your feelings are comprehensible.
Couples counseling may make it easier to to regulate to the brand new reality, and I heartily recommend it. Your doctor should have the option to refer you.
DEAR ABBY: I’m hurt and angered by the shunning I’m experiencing from my family because they disapprove of my incarcerated fiance.
I’m in my 60s, and I actually have worked for 20 years as a counselor in higher education. I’m engaged to a beautiful man who’s serving a life sentence within the South.
We’ve been writing and talking via phone and video for greater than two years.
We recently had our first visit. We love one another very much. I just moved to his state so we are able to visit every month and so I could be near his family.
My family has now blocked me on social media, on the phone and on email. Before they did it, they told me I’m mentally disturbed and said they need nothing more to do with me.
I actually have tried several times to increase an olive branch, but they ignore me. Is there anything I can do to reconnect? — SHUNNED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR SHUNNED: Your relatives may feel the best way they do because they’re concerned for you, or the crime for which your fiance was imprisoned frightens them for their very own safety should he be released someday.
Is he eligible for parole, or will your relationship proceed to be a once-a-month visit in perpetuity?
You look like an informed, caring individual. But don’t count on reuniting along with your family — at this point, their minds seem like made up.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
