DEAR ABBY: I divorced my husband of 12 years. We were together for 16. We had a 4-year-old on the time we separated. To avoid possible lack of the 401(k) or to should pay him alimony, I didn’t ask him for child support. I knew he wasn’t in a position to afford it on the time. He has since gotten a great job but hasn’t offered to financially support his daughter. My latest fiance has no respect for him for this reason.
I even have let it go to maintain the peace so we will co-parent and my now-9-year-old daughter won’t should see what is happening. That is becoming an issue on holidays because we’ve at all times celebrated together with her together. She has grown to like that we do that for her. Nevertheless, my fiance doesn’t wish to be a component of those special moments. He doesn’t think my daughter would mind, and he doesn’t wish to risk losing his cool in front of her.
That is putting a strain on our relationship. Is it fallacious of me to want him to fake it so we will all get along? Or is he fallacious to make other plans to avoid these situations? — FOR HER SAKE IN GEORGIA
DEAR FOR HER SAKE: Because your ex-husband’s employment circumstances have improved because the divorce, have a peaceful, adult conversation with him. Many exes wouldn’t have been as understanding as you will have been. Because he can now afford it, he should share in the associated fee of raising his daughter. If you happen to can reach an agreement, have an attorney draw up a document in writing. Nevertheless, if he isn’t willing to step up, contact a lawyer who makes a speciality of family law to debate what your next steps ought to be.
Also, together with your latest engagement, your personal circumstances have modified. Your fiance shouldn’t be compelled to interact together with your ex if it makes him uncomfortable.
DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away a 12 months ago from a protracted ordeal with Alzheimer’s. Before he died, I invited my soon-to-be-retired sister to return live with me. We had been close throughout our lives, and I believed it might be good for each of us.
My problem is, I even have casually dated several men since my husband’s death. I even have welcomed the companionship and the love I had been missing long before my husband passed. My sister, who’s somewhat reclusive, has expressed that I shouldn’t be doing this and has gone thus far as to say that she doesn’t wish to live in a “whore house.” She also makes derogatory comments about any gentleman I even have introduced her to.
I believe that, at my age, I should give you the chance to do what I wish in my own residence. But due to how she reacts, I not have any gentlemen or women friends over because all she does is denigrate all of them. I’m uninterested in walking on eggshells round her. Are there any options aside from asking her to maneuver? — LIVING AS I WANT IN WASHINGTON
DEAR LIVING: No, there aren’t. Your sister shouldn’t be ruling your social life. The earlier you help her find one other place to live, the healthier it’ll be for each of you. Start now.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I divorced my husband of 12 years. We were together for 16. We had a 4-year-old on the time we separated. To avoid possible lack of the 401(k) or to should pay him alimony, I didn’t ask him for child support. I knew he wasn’t in a position to afford it on the time. He has since gotten a great job but hasn’t offered to financially support his daughter. My latest fiance has no respect for him for this reason.
I even have let it go to maintain the peace so we will co-parent and my now-9-year-old daughter won’t should see what is happening. That is becoming an issue on holidays because we’ve at all times celebrated together with her together. She has grown to like that we do that for her. Nevertheless, my fiance doesn’t wish to be a component of those special moments. He doesn’t think my daughter would mind, and he doesn’t wish to risk losing his cool in front of her.
That is putting a strain on our relationship. Is it fallacious of me to want him to fake it so we will all get along? Or is he fallacious to make other plans to avoid these situations? — FOR HER SAKE IN GEORGIA
DEAR FOR HER SAKE: Because your ex-husband’s employment circumstances have improved because the divorce, have a peaceful, adult conversation with him. Many exes wouldn’t have been as understanding as you will have been. Because he can now afford it, he should share in the associated fee of raising his daughter. If you happen to can reach an agreement, have an attorney draw up a document in writing. Nevertheless, if he isn’t willing to step up, contact a lawyer who makes a speciality of family law to debate what your next steps ought to be.
Also, together with your latest engagement, your personal circumstances have modified. Your fiance shouldn’t be compelled to interact together with your ex if it makes him uncomfortable.
DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away a 12 months ago from a protracted ordeal with Alzheimer’s. Before he died, I invited my soon-to-be-retired sister to return live with me. We had been close throughout our lives, and I believed it might be good for each of us.
My problem is, I even have casually dated several men since my husband’s death. I even have welcomed the companionship and the love I had been missing long before my husband passed. My sister, who’s somewhat reclusive, has expressed that I shouldn’t be doing this and has gone thus far as to say that she doesn’t wish to live in a “whore house.” She also makes derogatory comments about any gentleman I even have introduced her to.
I believe that, at my age, I should give you the chance to do what I wish in my own residence. But due to how she reacts, I not have any gentlemen or women friends over because all she does is denigrate all of them. I’m uninterested in walking on eggshells round her. Are there any options aside from asking her to maneuver? — LIVING AS I WANT IN WASHINGTON
DEAR LIVING: No, there aren’t. Your sister shouldn’t be ruling your social life. The earlier you help her find one other place to live, the healthier it’ll be for each of you. Start now.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
