DEAR ABBY: I’m in an ungainly situation and want a diplomatic strategy to handle it. I own a business, and one customer is persistently asking to socialize. I all the time give an excuse, to no avail. He just continues to supply latest dates and options. How do I get across to him that his invitations should not welcome, without jeopardizing our business relationship? — HELP NEEDED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HELP: Tell this man you’re flattered he desires to take you out, nonetheless, you’ve gotten one hard-and-fast rule, and that rule isn’t thus far a client. Period.
DEAR ABBY: I dearly love my youngest daughter. She’s the one one in all my 4 daughters who has never married. For several months, she has been living with a person who’s divorced and the daddy of two sons.
He’s a caring father. The issue is his status as a felon, for possession of medicine and fleeing the police. He served his time — a couple of yr — and received commendations during that point. Her sisters refuse to come back to my home if he’s present and won’t invite him for holidays.
My birthday is approaching, and I need her here together with her sisters, but she is going to not come without him. I feel everyone deserves a second likelihood. How long should it take for her sisters and their husbands to just accept him? — ACCEPTING IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR ACCEPTING: In case your daughter’s boyfriend lives a clean lifestyle, has found employment and is attempting to turn his life around, your other daughters and their husbands should give him the prospect to prove himself. That they refuse is gloomy in light of the incontrovertible fact that it prevents you from having fun with holidays together with your entire family. Nevertheless, I can’t change what’s happening, and neither are you able to, so rejoice with this couple individually.
DEAR ABBY: Once I was 15, I used to be fortunate to trail-ride up a mountain with people aware of the world. We stopped at a homestead to say hello to a person who had lived secluded there for 25 years. That’s once I first thought, “I need to be a hermit someday.” Twenty-five years ago, I purchased some acreage. I spent years hand-clearing and putting in infrastructure, but eventually my husband and I built a small home and studios. We love living on this private space.
My query has to do with the common belief that folks need people. After 50 years of being a community-involved person, a shopkeeper in a service business and an event organizer, I’m now happily retired. I really like my privacy. I don’t have to go anywhere or see almost anyone (apart from family). I’ll help when asked, rise to the occasion, cheer on, but — is it OK to like being a hermit?
My huge network of friends seems to just accept it. Occasionally, rarely, someone may stop by and I make coffee. I could live this fashion so long as I live. I finally have my dream. But is it too weird? — HERMIT IN WASHINGTON
DEAR HERMIT: It’s unusual, but I don’t think it’s “weird.” One person’s dream could also be one other person’s nightmare; the reverse can be true. Enjoy living your dream, and don’t apologize or feel guilty for it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m in an ungainly situation and want a diplomatic strategy to handle it. I own a business, and one customer is persistently asking to socialize. I all the time give an excuse, to no avail. He just continues to supply latest dates and options. How do I get across to him that his invitations should not welcome, without jeopardizing our business relationship? — HELP NEEDED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR HELP: Tell this man you’re flattered he desires to take you out, nonetheless, you’ve gotten one hard-and-fast rule, and that rule isn’t thus far a client. Period.
DEAR ABBY: I dearly love my youngest daughter. She’s the one one in all my 4 daughters who has never married. For several months, she has been living with a person who’s divorced and the daddy of two sons.
He’s a caring father. The issue is his status as a felon, for possession of medicine and fleeing the police. He served his time — a couple of yr — and received commendations during that point. Her sisters refuse to come back to my home if he’s present and won’t invite him for holidays.
My birthday is approaching, and I need her here together with her sisters, but she is going to not come without him. I feel everyone deserves a second likelihood. How long should it take for her sisters and their husbands to just accept him? — ACCEPTING IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR ACCEPTING: In case your daughter’s boyfriend lives a clean lifestyle, has found employment and is attempting to turn his life around, your other daughters and their husbands should give him the prospect to prove himself. That they refuse is gloomy in light of the incontrovertible fact that it prevents you from having fun with holidays together with your entire family. Nevertheless, I can’t change what’s happening, and neither are you able to, so rejoice with this couple individually.
DEAR ABBY: Once I was 15, I used to be fortunate to trail-ride up a mountain with people aware of the world. We stopped at a homestead to say hello to a person who had lived secluded there for 25 years. That’s once I first thought, “I need to be a hermit someday.” Twenty-five years ago, I purchased some acreage. I spent years hand-clearing and putting in infrastructure, but eventually my husband and I built a small home and studios. We love living on this private space.
My query has to do with the common belief that folks need people. After 50 years of being a community-involved person, a shopkeeper in a service business and an event organizer, I’m now happily retired. I really like my privacy. I don’t have to go anywhere or see almost anyone (apart from family). I’ll help when asked, rise to the occasion, cheer on, but — is it OK to like being a hermit?
My huge network of friends seems to just accept it. Occasionally, rarely, someone may stop by and I make coffee. I could live this fashion so long as I live. I finally have my dream. But is it too weird? — HERMIT IN WASHINGTON
DEAR HERMIT: It’s unusual, but I don’t think it’s “weird.” One person’s dream could also be one other person’s nightmare; the reverse can be true. Enjoy living your dream, and don’t apologize or feel guilty for it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
