DEAR ABBY: I actually have been dating “Paul” for several years. He lives about an hour away, and we see one another just a few weekends a month. I do know he loves me. Just a few months ago, his dog suddenly died from cancer. It was traumatic because “Bruiser” was his best friend.
Paul has been different since Bruiser’s death. He has zero interest in anything physical. To me, touch is essential — not only sex. There’s shared intimacy in holding someone’s hand or kissing. I feel like a plant that’s wilting with no sun. I do know Paul is struggling, but I don’t know the right way to help him through. We talked about it once, but apart from acknowledging he’s struggling, he has done nothing further.
I don’t wish to force the problem, but time is precious. I do know what it’s wish to struggle with depression, and I recognize the signs, but he won’t get help. How can I support him through this and recover from my selfishness? — IN THE DARK IN NEW YORK
DEAR IN THE DARK: Tell Paul you already know he’s hurting because since Bruiser’s death, his behavior has modified. Explain that he could also be depressed — and with good reason — and that it’d help him to contact his veterinarian and ask if there are grief support groups for pet owners who’ve lost their furry member of the family. His vet may find a way to suggest a number of. Nonetheless, if that doesn’t appeal to Paul, he should consider talking to his doctor because he’s exhibiting some classic signs of depression. After that, the ball’s in his court.
DEAR ABBY: I’m one among nine children who all still get along. One sibling belongs to a non secular order. Not less than one (needless to say) will not be a Christian. One is a born-again Christian. Certainly one of us is gay and married. We usually are not all the same political persuasion. Yet in some way, in any case these years, we’ve got managed to get along and still gather for family fun, whether it’s a vacation or simply a cookout. We don’t all live in the identical state, but most of the time, most of us are there.
There’s no secret to us still loving in addition to liking one another. We simply respect one another’s opinions and realize that although we don’t at all times agree, it’s not price cutting out of our lives someone we’ve got known “ceaselessly.” I can’t imagine losing even one sibling over a silly disagreement. That’s to not say we haven’t had arguments, because we’ve got actually had our share, but we simply take the high road and comply with disagree. I like my siblings with all my heart. Just desired to share an uplifting note with you. — NO PROBLEMS HERE
DEAR NO PROBLEMS: A lot of the mail I receive concerns relationships that fractured due to an absence of respect for somebody’s feelings. Thanks to your, frankly, refreshing letter. If more people emulated your loved ones’s example, this world could be a happier, simpler place wherein to live. I wish your attitude were contagious.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been dating “Paul” for several years. He lives about an hour away, and we see one another just a few weekends a month. I do know he loves me. Just a few months ago, his dog suddenly died from cancer. It was traumatic because “Bruiser” was his best friend.
Paul has been different since Bruiser’s death. He has zero interest in anything physical. To me, touch is essential — not only sex. There’s shared intimacy in holding someone’s hand or kissing. I feel like a plant that’s wilting with no sun. I do know Paul is struggling, but I don’t know the right way to help him through. We talked about it once, but apart from acknowledging he’s struggling, he has done nothing further.
I don’t wish to force the problem, but time is precious. I do know what it’s wish to struggle with depression, and I recognize the signs, but he won’t get help. How can I support him through this and recover from my selfishness? — IN THE DARK IN NEW YORK
DEAR IN THE DARK: Tell Paul you already know he’s hurting because since Bruiser’s death, his behavior has modified. Explain that he could also be depressed — and with good reason — and that it’d help him to contact his veterinarian and ask if there are grief support groups for pet owners who’ve lost their furry member of the family. His vet may find a way to suggest a number of. Nonetheless, if that doesn’t appeal to Paul, he should consider talking to his doctor because he’s exhibiting some classic signs of depression. After that, the ball’s in his court.
DEAR ABBY: I’m one among nine children who all still get along. One sibling belongs to a non secular order. Not less than one (needless to say) will not be a Christian. One is a born-again Christian. Certainly one of us is gay and married. We usually are not all the same political persuasion. Yet in some way, in any case these years, we’ve got managed to get along and still gather for family fun, whether it’s a vacation or simply a cookout. We don’t all live in the identical state, but most of the time, most of us are there.
There’s no secret to us still loving in addition to liking one another. We simply respect one another’s opinions and realize that although we don’t at all times agree, it’s not price cutting out of our lives someone we’ve got known “ceaselessly.” I can’t imagine losing even one sibling over a silly disagreement. That’s to not say we haven’t had arguments, because we’ve got actually had our share, but we simply take the high road and comply with disagree. I like my siblings with all my heart. Just desired to share an uplifting note with you. — NO PROBLEMS HERE
DEAR NO PROBLEMS: A lot of the mail I receive concerns relationships that fractured due to an absence of respect for somebody’s feelings. Thanks to your, frankly, refreshing letter. If more people emulated your loved ones’s example, this world could be a happier, simpler place wherein to live. I wish your attitude were contagious.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
