DEAR ABBY: I recently married an old highschool flame after 30 years apart. Since we’re each in our 50s, we wanted a low-key ceremony — no wedding, no fuss, just us, head over heels in love and doing our thing. My older sister, the one person we told, begged me to be included — “At the least let me sign as witness. At the least let me bring a cake. At the least let me do flowers.” We took her with us to the courthouse, and he or she took many pictures, which might be cherished.
The issue began after the courthouse ceremony when she insisted we go have fun. Although we had made other plans, we agreed. Well, one bar was her taking charge, getting way too drunk, demanding we do that and that, and going to a different place. We shut her down and returned to the hotel to eat the cake we didn’t ask for.
She drank more, was too drunk to drive, then passed out for six hours. When she finally got here to, she was “so embarrassed” and left. So, as an alternative of the magical day (and night) we had planned, we fell asleep because we had early plans the following day. Problem is, I cannot forgive her. I don’t even need to see her. How can I get past this? — UNHAPPY BRIDE IN FLORIDA
DEAR BRIDE: OK, your sister has a drinking problem. If this was the primary time you noticed, I can understand why the situation became uncontrolled. If it wasn’t, then “get past this” by recognizing your part in what happened.
After the ceremony, when your sister desired to go “have fun,” you and your husband must have told her that what she was proposing wasn’t what you had planned, and parted ways.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have had a friend for a few years. We’re from the identical hometown and enjoyed getting together weekly for Saturday morning breakfasts and long chats about our highlights and sometimes our lows. We considered one another best friends.
Several years ago, she found a boyfriend (also a retired person), and since then, she now not makes time for our get-togethers. It has been two years since she could make it for a meal or a glass of wine or a fast drop-by chat. Now after we do talk on the phone, it’s limited to a “How are you? I’m superb” sort of conversation.
Although I proceed sending cards and dropping off a vacation gift like we used to, there’s barely any acknowledgment. I now not feel inclined to maintain up one-sided, frustrating phone contacts. Must I just let all of it go, fade into the gap, and be satisfied that this has run its course? — LEFT BEHIND IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Your friend’s life has moved in a special direction. Because she is now devoting her energy to the connection she has together with her boyfriend, the reply to your query is yes.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I recently married an old highschool flame after 30 years apart. Since we’re each in our 50s, we wanted a low-key ceremony — no wedding, no fuss, just us, head over heels in love and doing our thing. My older sister, the one person we told, begged me to be included — “At the least let me sign as witness. At the least let me bring a cake. At the least let me do flowers.” We took her with us to the courthouse, and he or she took many pictures, which might be cherished.
The issue began after the courthouse ceremony when she insisted we go have fun. Although we had made other plans, we agreed. Well, one bar was her taking charge, getting way too drunk, demanding we do that and that, and going to a different place. We shut her down and returned to the hotel to eat the cake we didn’t ask for.
She drank more, was too drunk to drive, then passed out for six hours. When she finally got here to, she was “so embarrassed” and left. So, as an alternative of the magical day (and night) we had planned, we fell asleep because we had early plans the following day. Problem is, I cannot forgive her. I don’t even need to see her. How can I get past this? — UNHAPPY BRIDE IN FLORIDA
DEAR BRIDE: OK, your sister has a drinking problem. If this was the primary time you noticed, I can understand why the situation became uncontrolled. If it wasn’t, then “get past this” by recognizing your part in what happened.
After the ceremony, when your sister desired to go “have fun,” you and your husband must have told her that what she was proposing wasn’t what you had planned, and parted ways.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have had a friend for a few years. We’re from the identical hometown and enjoyed getting together weekly for Saturday morning breakfasts and long chats about our highlights and sometimes our lows. We considered one another best friends.
Several years ago, she found a boyfriend (also a retired person), and since then, she now not makes time for our get-togethers. It has been two years since she could make it for a meal or a glass of wine or a fast drop-by chat. Now after we do talk on the phone, it’s limited to a “How are you? I’m superb” sort of conversation.
Although I proceed sending cards and dropping off a vacation gift like we used to, there’s barely any acknowledgment. I now not feel inclined to maintain up one-sided, frustrating phone contacts. Must I just let all of it go, fade into the gap, and be satisfied that this has run its course? — LEFT BEHIND IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LEFT BEHIND: Your friend’s life has moved in a special direction. Because she is now devoting her energy to the connection she has together with her boyfriend, the reply to your query is yes.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often called Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
