DEAR ABBY: I’m frightened about my 21-year-old son, “Travis.” He hasn’t quite left our home that he shares with me and my husband, but he sleeps here just one or two nights. He’s at school part time and works part time, which suggests working or studying long hours until morning.
What concerns me is where he’s staying. He refuses to disclose his location. He says he’s with a girlfriend we haven’t met, and he stays out all night long. I’m frightened there could be a drug problem, too. I attempt to call him to see if he’s OK, and I actually have to text and text simply to get a solution.
My husband doesn’t worry in any respect. He tells me to depart Travis alone, that he’s 21 and I’m crazy for worrying about what our son is doing. Am I fallacious about this? How can I discover what Travis is doing and take a look at to get him help? — WORRIED MAMA IN GEORGIA
DEAR MAMA: Your son isn’t any longer a baby. He appears to be handling his job and studies responsibly. At 21, he deserves to have a personal life, and it is best to have the option to step back and permit him that. Hearken to your husband on this regard. He’s steering you in the appropriate direction.
DEAR ABBY: There was a person I knew after I was younger. He was a friend of a friend of mine. I discovered years later that he had had a crush on me. Long story short, we went on a date. Apparently, it went higher for him than for me. After ONE DATE, I’m “Baby,” and he thinks we’re a pair! After I moved from California to Alabama, it didn’t deter him from acting like we were a pair.
I texted him, saying I didn’t need to hurt him, but I couldn’t do a long-distance relationship. He sent back a seething text about “not ever contacting him again.” Did I do the fallacious thing? Should I actually have called him? (I used to be scared to do that.) — CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONFUSED: The way in which you handled it was appropriate. You were correct to avoid an unpleasant conversation, particularly since you sensed (rightly) that he wouldn’t take your message well.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been married for 13 years to an exquisite man. A few years into our marriage, I used to be diagnosed with uterine cancer and needed to get a hysterectomy. My sister, who’s three years older, doesn’t understand what I went through. I wanted children, but now, due to hysterectomy, I can’t have any. How can I make her (and others) understand that I’m grieving? —
DEAR NO ONE’S MOM: I’m sorry to your loss, which for a lot of childless women is a painful one. Nonetheless, not everyone seems to be empathetic enough to know that this pain is ongoing. To those that, like your sister, don’t understand, speak up. Nonetheless, if that is having a negative impact in your life and relationships, please consider talking about it with a licensed psychotherapist.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m frightened about my 21-year-old son, “Travis.” He hasn’t quite left our home that he shares with me and my husband, but he sleeps here just one or two nights. He’s at school part time and works part time, which suggests working or studying long hours until morning.
What concerns me is where he’s staying. He refuses to disclose his location. He says he’s with a girlfriend we haven’t met, and he stays out all night long. I’m frightened there could be a drug problem, too. I attempt to call him to see if he’s OK, and I actually have to text and text simply to get a solution.
My husband doesn’t worry in any respect. He tells me to depart Travis alone, that he’s 21 and I’m crazy for worrying about what our son is doing. Am I fallacious about this? How can I discover what Travis is doing and take a look at to get him help? — WORRIED MAMA IN GEORGIA
DEAR MAMA: Your son isn’t any longer a baby. He appears to be handling his job and studies responsibly. At 21, he deserves to have a personal life, and it is best to have the option to step back and permit him that. Hearken to your husband on this regard. He’s steering you in the appropriate direction.
DEAR ABBY: There was a person I knew after I was younger. He was a friend of a friend of mine. I discovered years later that he had had a crush on me. Long story short, we went on a date. Apparently, it went higher for him than for me. After ONE DATE, I’m “Baby,” and he thinks we’re a pair! After I moved from California to Alabama, it didn’t deter him from acting like we were a pair.
I texted him, saying I didn’t need to hurt him, but I couldn’t do a long-distance relationship. He sent back a seething text about “not ever contacting him again.” Did I do the fallacious thing? Should I actually have called him? (I used to be scared to do that.) — CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONFUSED: The way in which you handled it was appropriate. You were correct to avoid an unpleasant conversation, particularly since you sensed (rightly) that he wouldn’t take your message well.
DEAR ABBY: I actually have been married for 13 years to an exquisite man. A few years into our marriage, I used to be diagnosed with uterine cancer and needed to get a hysterectomy. My sister, who’s three years older, doesn’t understand what I went through. I wanted children, but now, due to hysterectomy, I can’t have any. How can I make her (and others) understand that I’m grieving? —
DEAR NO ONE’S MOM: I’m sorry to your loss, which for a lot of childless women is a painful one. Nonetheless, not everyone seems to be empathetic enough to know that this pain is ongoing. To those that, like your sister, don’t understand, speak up. Nonetheless, if that is having a negative impact in your life and relationships, please consider talking about it with a licensed psychotherapist.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
