DEAR ABBY: After being divorced for 18 years, I actually have reconnected with my highschool sweetheart. She got in contact with me, and we began talking and seeing one another. She says she loves me, and to be honest, I really like her, too. The issue is, she’s married. She has grown kids and is raising her 8-year-old granddaughter. She says she’s sorry about what happened to us years ago and that she and her husband have had nothing in common for the past 16 years. They sleep in separate rooms and don’t do anything as a family.
I comprehend it was flawed to become involved together with her because she’s married. I asked her why now and why me. She said it’s because she never stopped loving me and had tried to seek out me prior to now. (I work in construction and have been somewhere else over time.) I told her I don’t wish to break up her home, but she insisted that she’s not joyful. She told me that a number of years ago she moved out but returned due to the granddaughter. We’re each in our early 60s. I’m undecided what to do. I do know we’ve got fun together, and I haven’t laughed this much in a really very long time. I actually have been with others but never like this. Help! — LONGTIME LOVE IN FLORIDA
DEAR LONGTIME LOVE: Tell your female friend you take care of her, but what’s happening isn’t fair to you or her husband. She has some vital decisions to make about her future — and possibly yours. Would her husband raise the grandchild if she left? Could she take the girl together with her? Do you must help raise the kid? Unless you propose to sneak around until her granddaughter isn’t any longer a minor, stop laughing and get serious.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 48-year-old divorced mother of 1 adult child and one teenager. I suffered years of abuse by the hands of my toxic ex-husband, and I’m finally having fun with life for the primary time in greater than 20 years. My elderly parents were also abusive, so my relationship with them is restricted.
My parents think I’m going to care for them once they can not take care of themselves, but when my son graduates in a number of years, I need to maneuver away. I actually have offered to assist, but they insist I must be willing to do more when the time comes. My parents are on Social Security and have little money. My only sibling is worthless and abusive as well, and I do know he won’t do anything. What’s your advice? — EYE ON FUTURE IN OHIO
DEAR EYE: In case your parents had children in an effort to guarantee they’d be taken care of of their old age, they were misguided. Having children isn’t any guarantee. That they now survive a limited income is their issue; don’t allow them to make it yours.
I assume you’ve warned them that you’ll have the opportunity to offer them limited financial help and that you just plan to go away the realm.
Let your kids know what has been happening. Impress upon them the importance of planning for financial independence early on, and when you haven’t already, start saving for your individual retirement because children often emulate what they see their parents do.
Make your parents aware that there could also be programs to assist them lower costs in lots of areas, enabling them to stretch their dollars. AARP has a state-by-state breakdown on help for low-income seniors. (Go to aarp.org and search “Public Advantages – Senior Assistance.”)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: After being divorced for 18 years, I actually have reconnected with my highschool sweetheart. She got in contact with me, and we began talking and seeing one another. She says she loves me, and to be honest, I really like her, too. The issue is, she’s married. She has grown kids and is raising her 8-year-old granddaughter. She says she’s sorry about what happened to us years ago and that she and her husband have had nothing in common for the past 16 years. They sleep in separate rooms and don’t do anything as a family.
I comprehend it was flawed to become involved together with her because she’s married. I asked her why now and why me. She said it’s because she never stopped loving me and had tried to seek out me prior to now. (I work in construction and have been somewhere else over time.) I told her I don’t wish to break up her home, but she insisted that she’s not joyful. She told me that a number of years ago she moved out but returned due to the granddaughter. We’re each in our early 60s. I’m undecided what to do. I do know we’ve got fun together, and I haven’t laughed this much in a really very long time. I actually have been with others but never like this. Help! — LONGTIME LOVE IN FLORIDA
DEAR LONGTIME LOVE: Tell your female friend you take care of her, but what’s happening isn’t fair to you or her husband. She has some vital decisions to make about her future — and possibly yours. Would her husband raise the grandchild if she left? Could she take the girl together with her? Do you must help raise the kid? Unless you propose to sneak around until her granddaughter isn’t any longer a minor, stop laughing and get serious.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 48-year-old divorced mother of 1 adult child and one teenager. I suffered years of abuse by the hands of my toxic ex-husband, and I’m finally having fun with life for the primary time in greater than 20 years. My elderly parents were also abusive, so my relationship with them is restricted.
My parents think I’m going to care for them once they can not take care of themselves, but when my son graduates in a number of years, I need to maneuver away. I actually have offered to assist, but they insist I must be willing to do more when the time comes. My parents are on Social Security and have little money. My only sibling is worthless and abusive as well, and I do know he won’t do anything. What’s your advice? — EYE ON FUTURE IN OHIO
DEAR EYE: In case your parents had children in an effort to guarantee they’d be taken care of of their old age, they were misguided. Having children isn’t any guarantee. That they now survive a limited income is their issue; don’t allow them to make it yours.
I assume you’ve warned them that you’ll have the opportunity to offer them limited financial help and that you just plan to go away the realm.
Let your kids know what has been happening. Impress upon them the importance of planning for financial independence early on, and when you haven’t already, start saving for your individual retirement because children often emulate what they see their parents do.
Make your parents aware that there could also be programs to assist them lower costs in lots of areas, enabling them to stretch their dollars. AARP has a state-by-state breakdown on help for low-income seniors. (Go to aarp.org and search “Public Advantages – Senior Assistance.”)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
