DEAR ABBY: I struggled for years with vomiting and nausea, in addition to other digestive issues I dismissed as having a “sensitive stomach.” When my fiance, “Marc,” and I began dating, he urged me to seek out out the reason behind my issues. Six months ago, I used to be diagnosed with celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder that’s managed through a gluten-free food plan.
Marc has been incredibly supportive, and our kitchen is usually gluten-free. I can get fairly sick, so we’re pretty careful. There’s only one issue: I can get cross-contaminated if he kisses me after eating gluten, and he does eat gluten very often. It may well be resolved if he brushes his teeth thoroughly, but he brushes his teeth only every two or three days.
Marc is a grown man, and while we’ve discussed it briefly from a health standpoint, I don’t need to be answerable for managing his oral hygiene. That should be his responsibility. I don’t know where to attract the road, though, without being controlling. Is it reasonable to expect my fiance to brush his teeth after eating gluten? Or every morning and evening? Or must I just accept that I won’t have the option to kiss him except on rare occasions? — BAD KISS IN KANSAS
DEAR BAD KISS: If kissing your fiance causes you to have episodes of nausea and vomiting (in addition to other digestive issues), out of respect on your welfare, your fiance must be willing, if not eager, to change his snacking habits. Insisting that he do what dental health professionals have urged way back to I can remember will not be “controlling” — it’s protecting your health and his. SPEAK UP!
DEAR ABBY: My cousin is refusing to permit me to see my aunt (“Betty”). After a horrible 2020, during which my cousin lost her husband to cancer and the lockdown occurred that kept most individuals isolated, my cousin still guards her mom beyond reason. I even have asked repeatedly if we could meet in person at an out of doors location and offered to wear a mask, but she refuses.
My cousin said in a text that she’s in control of her mom’s schedule. Her reasons after we speak are the lack of her husband, grief and fear. My aunt is visited often by her grandkids, who live regular lives exposed to the various elements on the market, and my cousin works in an industry where she’s exposed to many individuals.
My aunt is in her late 80s, and I’m afraid the following time I see her can be in her casket. After losing several people near me these past few years, it is apparent to me that life is brief and we have now no idea when our time will end. When my father died, Aunt Betty and her husband were very kind to me. I even have at all times adored her.
It makes me sad and sometimes offended that my cousin is doing this. I believe she’s being selfish. Should I say anything to her or simply let it’s? — MISSING MY AUNT OUT WEST
DEAR MISSING: By all means, have that conversation along with your cousin. Because she has a profession that exposes her to strangers who could transmit a contagious disease, and she or he allows the grandkids to go to, her reasons for not allowing you to see your aunt make no sense.
What does make sense is that she can have other reasons for stopping you from being involved along with her mother. What they could be, only she will be able to answer.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I struggled for years with vomiting and nausea, in addition to other digestive issues I dismissed as having a “sensitive stomach.” When my fiance, “Marc,” and I began dating, he urged me to seek out out the reason behind my issues. Six months ago, I used to be diagnosed with celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder that’s managed through a gluten-free food plan.
Marc has been incredibly supportive, and our kitchen is usually gluten-free. I can get fairly sick, so we’re pretty careful. There’s only one issue: I can get cross-contaminated if he kisses me after eating gluten, and he does eat gluten very often. It may well be resolved if he brushes his teeth thoroughly, but he brushes his teeth only every two or three days.
Marc is a grown man, and while we’ve discussed it briefly from a health standpoint, I don’t need to be answerable for managing his oral hygiene. That should be his responsibility. I don’t know where to attract the road, though, without being controlling. Is it reasonable to expect my fiance to brush his teeth after eating gluten? Or every morning and evening? Or must I just accept that I won’t have the option to kiss him except on rare occasions? — BAD KISS IN KANSAS
DEAR BAD KISS: If kissing your fiance causes you to have episodes of nausea and vomiting (in addition to other digestive issues), out of respect on your welfare, your fiance must be willing, if not eager, to change his snacking habits. Insisting that he do what dental health professionals have urged way back to I can remember will not be “controlling” — it’s protecting your health and his. SPEAK UP!
DEAR ABBY: My cousin is refusing to permit me to see my aunt (“Betty”). After a horrible 2020, during which my cousin lost her husband to cancer and the lockdown occurred that kept most individuals isolated, my cousin still guards her mom beyond reason. I even have asked repeatedly if we could meet in person at an out of doors location and offered to wear a mask, but she refuses.
My cousin said in a text that she’s in control of her mom’s schedule. Her reasons after we speak are the lack of her husband, grief and fear. My aunt is visited often by her grandkids, who live regular lives exposed to the various elements on the market, and my cousin works in an industry where she’s exposed to many individuals.
My aunt is in her late 80s, and I’m afraid the following time I see her can be in her casket. After losing several people near me these past few years, it is apparent to me that life is brief and we have now no idea when our time will end. When my father died, Aunt Betty and her husband were very kind to me. I even have at all times adored her.
It makes me sad and sometimes offended that my cousin is doing this. I believe she’s being selfish. Should I say anything to her or simply let it’s? — MISSING MY AUNT OUT WEST
DEAR MISSING: By all means, have that conversation along with your cousin. Because she has a profession that exposes her to strangers who could transmit a contagious disease, and she or he allows the grandkids to go to, her reasons for not allowing you to see your aunt make no sense.
What does make sense is that she can have other reasons for stopping you from being involved along with her mother. What they could be, only she will be able to answer.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
