DEAR ABBY: I’m a lesbian who has been in a relationship for a 12 months and a half. My partner was with men nearly all of her life. Considered one of her last exes is someone she now calls her best friend. She talks with and texts him day-after-day. I now have trust issues with them due to something I saw 4 months ago.
I like rather a lot about her, except she’s not very affectionate with me, and I would like that. I knew after I was first getting involved together with her that he was going to be in her life. They haven’t any children tying them together, but all of us go kayaking often. Although I’m not comfortable with it, she has given me no selection if I would like to kayak together with her. She also hides things from me, like when she buys him gifts.
How do I handle the jealousy I feel for him? I can’t stand to be around him, because I do know in my gut there’s deception. But I don’t need to lose all the great I even have together with her. — THREE’S A CROWD IN VIRGINIA
DEAR THREE’S A CROWD: What does “all the great you’ve got together with her” entail? What I gather out of your letter is that you’ve got spent a 12 months and a half with someone who’s bisexual, whom you don’t completely trust, and who makes you’re feeling like a 3rd wheel.
From where I sit, your jealousy is justified. Three in a relationship is terribly crowded, unless it’s by mutual agreement. In case you haven’t talked to her about your feelings, it is best to. And when you can’t arrive at a resolution, end your suffering and move on.
DEAR ABBY: I’m the daddy of an adult son, “Kirk,” who’s in a relationship with a younger woman who has a young child. Neither is well educated, but they each have decent jobs.
Kirk has a teenage daughter who’s preparing for school in one other state. They’re close, although I’m undecided to what degree he supports her financially. I even have saved some money for her college, but he has not. Kirk never married her mom.
My concern had been that my son and his girlfriend could be attempting to have a baby. When he told me she is pregnant, I used to be beyond livid and let him know what a mistake this was. I told Kirk he owns nothing nor does she, and asked what that baby has to sit up for. His girlfriend receives no support from her child’s father.
My son has now stopped talking to me. Is that this my fault? I spoke what I believed was in the most effective interest of all parties involved, financially and morally. — SEES A MISTAKE IN FLORIDA
DEAR SEES: Sometimes, before we speak, it is sensible to ask ourselves, “Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?” While your comment was true, the girlfriend is already pregnant.
Financially, Kirk can be on the hook until his second child becomes an adult, whether or not he marries the mother, so I’m considering what you said was neither helpful nor kind. In case you need a relationship along with your son, it might be time to apologize.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a lesbian who has been in a relationship for a 12 months and a half. My partner was with men nearly all of her life. Considered one of her last exes is someone she now calls her best friend. She talks with and texts him day-after-day. I now have trust issues with them due to something I saw 4 months ago.
I like rather a lot about her, except she’s not very affectionate with me, and I would like that. I knew after I was first getting involved together with her that he was going to be in her life. They haven’t any children tying them together, but all of us go kayaking often. Although I’m not comfortable with it, she has given me no selection if I would like to kayak together with her. She also hides things from me, like when she buys him gifts.
How do I handle the jealousy I feel for him? I can’t stand to be around him, because I do know in my gut there’s deception. But I don’t need to lose all the great I even have together with her. — THREE’S A CROWD IN VIRGINIA
DEAR THREE’S A CROWD: What does “all the great you’ve got together with her” entail? What I gather out of your letter is that you’ve got spent a 12 months and a half with someone who’s bisexual, whom you don’t completely trust, and who makes you’re feeling like a 3rd wheel.
From where I sit, your jealousy is justified. Three in a relationship is terribly crowded, unless it’s by mutual agreement. In case you haven’t talked to her about your feelings, it is best to. And when you can’t arrive at a resolution, end your suffering and move on.
DEAR ABBY: I’m the daddy of an adult son, “Kirk,” who’s in a relationship with a younger woman who has a young child. Neither is well educated, but they each have decent jobs.
Kirk has a teenage daughter who’s preparing for school in one other state. They’re close, although I’m undecided to what degree he supports her financially. I even have saved some money for her college, but he has not. Kirk never married her mom.
My concern had been that my son and his girlfriend could be attempting to have a baby. When he told me she is pregnant, I used to be beyond livid and let him know what a mistake this was. I told Kirk he owns nothing nor does she, and asked what that baby has to sit up for. His girlfriend receives no support from her child’s father.
My son has now stopped talking to me. Is that this my fault? I spoke what I believed was in the most effective interest of all parties involved, financially and morally. — SEES A MISTAKE IN FLORIDA
DEAR SEES: Sometimes, before we speak, it is sensible to ask ourselves, “Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?” While your comment was true, the girlfriend is already pregnant.
Financially, Kirk can be on the hook until his second child becomes an adult, whether or not he marries the mother, so I’m considering what you said was neither helpful nor kind. In case you need a relationship along with your son, it might be time to apologize.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also generally known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
